


Third Time Lucky

by Katef



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 23:50:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5394854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katef/pseuds/Katef
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Sentinels and Guides are known, sometimes the perfect match can prove to be very elusive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Third Time Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on 16/06/13, this is a very angsty story. I have included Rape/Non-con in the warnings, although the physical abuse mostly takes place before the story begins, and is not explicit. It is NOT a death story, but Blair is in a very dark place for a while, and there is talk of depression and suicide, so if this is likely to be triggering for some people, please do not read.

**Part 1: A Forlorn Hope:**   


**Remedial Therapy Unit, Cascade Guide Hospice:**  


“Guide Sandburg. Guide Sandburg! Blair, honey?” the soft but insistent voice carried across the open space as Sarah Madison closed the door of the sunroom behind her. The young Care Assistant knew that creeping up on her target wasn’t an option in the Guide’s current state of mind, so she intended to give him plenty of warning before she scared him silly by touching him unannounced. The single occupant of the bright, airy room made no move at her entrance, so she patiently repeated her words, pleased when the lonely figure before her raised his head slightly, obviously rousing from a deep, and most likely, morbid introspection. Satisfied that she had his attention, Sarah pasted on a bright smile, and crossed the room, taking a moment to study her charge as she approached. 

Blair was a beautiful young man, but so sad and troubled that Sarah’s heart bled for him. He had touched her like no other of her charges before, and she had to work to contain her anger on his behalf, knowing through experience and training that an empath as sensitive as Blair could easily be hurt by her negative thoughts even under partial sedation. 

But it was so hard not to feel for him anyway. 

As he turned his head slightly to acknowledge her approach, she widened her smile as she performed a quick, professional scan of his features, searching for signs of any further deterioration in his demeanour. The attractive, high-cheek boned face was pale and inanimate, huge blue eyes mournful as they met hers, but after a moment, Blair attempted a smile, which lifted the corners of his lush-lipped mouth, but failed entirely to reach his eyes. Today he had tied back his long, russet curls in a neat ponytail at his nape, the hair clean and shining, and he was showered and freshly shaved. But the wrists and forearms that protruded from the sleeves of his regulation pyjamas were still far too thin in Sarah’s opinion, and although surprisingly wide, she knew his shoulders were bony beneath the hospice-issue robe. 

Reaching his side, she squeezed his shoulder gently in greeting, saddened but unsurprised when he tensed automatically at her touch before making an obvious effort to relax again. Determined not to make an issue of it, Sarah released her grip, but squatted down in front of him, taking his hand in both of hers as she held his gaze. Keeping her voice light, she did her utmost to project calm and support as she revealed her reason for seeking him out. 

“Blair, honey, I’ve got some good news for you! Well, that is, I hope it is!” and she smiled gently at the faintest hint of curiosity that lit his eyes. 

“Director Bradshaw has a visitor with him; someone who would like to meet you, Blair. Now don’t worry!” she added hastily as a flash of real fear crossed his face. Cupping his cheek in her palm, she continued, “The Director cares far too much about you to coerce you into doing anything you don’t want, and I hope you realise by now that none of us here want to see you hurt again, honey. It’s just that we all feel you would be better off with a new Sentinel – a good one – to replace the medication you’re on. It can’t be healthy for you to remain on dampeners for the foreseeable future, and you’re far too talented a Guide to be overlooked when a new pairing could be just what you need. 

“A new bond could heal you, Blair. Give you your life back, and replace the bad memories with some good. Even if it’s not a perfect genetic match, a capable Guide like you could make it work. Especially if the Sentinel is an Alpha like this one apparently is. He’s a detective who works in Cascade PD’s Major Crimes Unit, and who has recently come fully online. I’m just asking you to come with me and see the guy, OK? If you hate him on sight, then no harm done. We certainly won’t kick you out on your ear, love. What do you say?” and she fixed him with her most beseeching expression. 

At Sarah’s words, Blair frowned for a moment as if trying to digest her meaning, then his eyes widened in unfeigned horror as he paled even further, throat working convulsively as he tried to speak. 

Although too low on the empathy scale to qualify as a potential Guide, Sarah was a sensitive; a quality that made her eminently suitable for her chosen career. Reacting automatically, she sent out soothing thoughts, gently rubbing the knuckles of the hand beneath her own, and sliding her other hand from Blair’s cheek to massage his scalp in a gentling and calming motion. 

“It’s OK, Blair, it’s OK,” she breathed, projecting nothing now but sympathy and comfort. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, honey! I’ll just tell Director Bradshaw that you’re not ready yet....” And was totally amazed to detect a flash of determination in the large blue eyes. 

“I...I...I’ll do it. I...I...mean, I’ll see this Sentinel. 

“B...but I can’t promise anything....” and his words tailed off uncertainly as Sarah tried to control her astonishment at his capitulation - and his courage – even as she revelled in the beautiful tones. Certainly, his voice was rusty from disuse, but the richness and quality was pure Guide magic, and she smiled appreciatively. 

“Oh, Blair, that’s all anyone could ask, honey! And for what it’s worth, I truly admire your bravery. And I pray that this will be the first step in getting your life back, Blair, because no one deserves it more than you!”  


\-----------------------  


A short while later, Sarah and Blair approached the Director’s office, Sarah’s hand resting comfortingly in the small of Blair’s back. Despite the young man’s assumed nonchalance, she could easily feel the tremors running through his too-slender frame, and her mouth tightened a little in sympathy. Nevertheless, she forced herself to appear cheerful and optimistic as she knocked on the door, smiling brightly at Blair as she opened it at her boss’ command. 

“There you go, honey! Good luck, and if you need me, just tell Director Bradshaw and I’ll be there, OK?” Then, in an undertone, she added, “No pressure, love, really!” and she gently encouraged him to enter as she waited outside for a moment, loath to leave even though she knew her presence wasn’t required right now. 

With a quick smile of gratitude in her direction, Blair braced his shoulders and stepped inside, on high alert as he attempted to ‘read’ both the Director and his visitor. Although his empathy was significantly muted by the dampening medication he was receiving, he could still tell that Director Bradshaw was harbouring no malice or trickery toward him. 

On the other hand, there was something about his visitor that Blair couldn’t quite fathom although he didn’t feel unduly threatened. 

Yet the guy was certainly attractive, and his demeanour was both inquisitive and friendly enough. And Blair couldn’t help the instinctive pull he felt towards someone he recognised who possessed all five enhanced senses – a true Alpha Sentinel. Unwillingly, and no doubt against his better judgement, the tiniest spark of hope kindled as he gazed fixedly at the tall detective, although he still registered Director Bradshaw’s words of welcome. 

“Blair, my boy! Thank you for agreeing to meet with us! I know it can’t have been an easy decision for you, but I’m sure Sarah will have made it very clear that you are under no obligation to make any decision yet. Your health and well-being is of paramount importance to us, Blair. 

“But I’d like to introduce you to Sentinel Detective Leroy Montgomery. Sentinel Detective Montgomery is newly appointed to Cascade PD’s prestigious Major Crimes Unit, and he’s looking for a Guide....”  


\--------------------  


**Earlier, in Director Bradshaw’s Office:**  


Director Bradshaw gazed appraisingly at the man seated across from him, elbows resting comfortably on his desk as he considered his visitor’s proposition. 

Sentinel Detective Leroy Montgomery was a fine figure of a man to be sure. Tall and elegant, his rich chocolate skin and close-cropped black curly hair denoted his Afro-Caribbean roots, and his relaxed and confident air and charming smile was guaranteed to impress. His success as a law enforcement officer was indicated by the fact that he had been accepted into Cascade PD’s MCU, a much sought-after vacancy with plenty of competition. Not only that, but he had recently come fully online as an Alpha Sentinel which would undoubtedly make him even more desirable once he paired with a suitable Guide. 

Bonded Sentinel and Guide pairings were a much-appreciated commodity in modern society, even though that hadn’t always been the case. Certainly in the past, they had occasionally been regarded with suspicion and even fear, and treated accordingly. However, although considerably fewer in number now, when latent Sentinel and Guide genes manifested, they were now welcomed with open arms as the valuable assets they were. 

Fully online Sentinels were capable of functioning without a Guide, although they would never reach their full potential. And there were undoubtedly individuals who valued their independence enough to refrain from ever taking a Guide, even though this was frowned upon as a waste of a great resource. Because a Guide, particularly a bonded Guide, was able to ground a working Sentinel, ensuring that they could use their senses to the full without fear of ‘zoning’, or getting lost in the input from one sense to the exclusion of everything else. Having said that, a platonic bond was certainly better than nothing, and less gifted Sentinels and Guides preferred this option, working for institutions rather than a specific individual. 

Guides could also function adequately alone, usually gravitating to careers where their natural empathy could be utilised to the full. Always ‘people persons’, depending on their rating, they could be anything from sensitives like Sarah, to top-rated empaths like Blair, capable of bonding with an Alpha Sentinel. 

However, there was a downside to full bonding, which was enough to deter more than a few Guides from taking the ultimate step. 

The full bond required close physical contact, wherein the Sentinel imprinted his Guide fully with all his or her senses. This most usually occurred during the course of the full sexual act, but once achieved, the Guide’s natural barriers were blasted away so that he or she could never again function without a Sentinel’s shielding. Guides who lost their bonded mate for whatever reason had no choice but to resort to medication to dampen their empathy for as long as it took to find another partner. 

And those unlucky enough to never find another compatible companion lived a half-life in a state of semi-drugged depression, which frequently led to suicidal tendencies if not continuously monitored. 

Blair Sandburg was one such Guide, but his story was far from the norm, and Director Bradshaw wanted to make absolutely certain that his visitor was aware of the full facts behind the young Guide’s presence in the hospice. 

“Well, Sentinel Detective Montgomery, firstly I should like to congratulate you on your promotion, and also your new status as a fully online Alpha. I can certainly understand why you would need a highly rated Guide, but I’m a little surprised that you should come to our hospice to search for one. You do realise that all our patients have been damaged in one way or another – either from simple bereavement or for more distressing reasons? Added to that, we only have one top-ranked empath here at present, and I don’t think he is ready to be paired again yet, if indeed he ever is.” 

Smiling pleasantly, the younger man replied, his tone measured and persuasive as he met the Director’s frank gaze with one of his own. “Thank you, Director Bradshaw, and please feel free to call me Leroy. 

“As regards your question, yes, I am aware that all the Guides here are undergoing therapy of one sort or another, but I do have a particular interest in Guide Sandburg. 

“I understand that his first Sentinel is now in a vegetative state following a shooting incident, and will never function again as an Alpha Sentinel even if she does regain some sort of consciousness. I also know that she was a criminal with psychotic tendencies. But I believe that Sandburg was bonded unwillingly and was innocent of any related charges? 

“The thing is, Director Bradshaw, that I know I need a strong, top-ranking Guide to complement my new abilities, and they are remarkably few and far between. Blair Sandburg is the only one I know of in the Cascade district who is unpaired right now. I’m hoping that, with your consent, I can persuade Blair to bond with me. I can take care of him and give him the shielding he needs, and I’m sure that, given the right encouragement, he’ll make me a strong and capable Guide. 

“What do you say?” and he put every ounce of conviction he could muster into his tone and expression. 

Director Bradshaw took a few moments to consider his response. Although he was impressed by Montgomery’s argument, he had a particularly soft spot for Blair, and needed to convince himself that he was doing the right thing by encouraging these two to meet. Sitting back in his seat, he contemplated his visitor carefully while he marshalled his thoughts. “It’s true that Blair needs the shielding only an Alpha can provide since his first bond was broken so traumatically, but that’s not the whole story as I think you already know. 

“Yes, you’re correct in what you’ve stated so far, but those are just bald facts. I don’t think you realise just how badly Blair suffered. If you’ll bear with me, I want tell you the full sorry tale. Then, if you’re still convinced you can help heal Blair, I’ll give you my blessing to at least speak to him. But only if he’s willing!” he cautioned. 

Although secretly Leroy was more than a little irritated by what he considered to be the man’s over-protective attitude, he forced himself to respond politely, smiling agreeably and voice conveying his understanding. “Of course, Director! I understand completely, and applaud your dedication to your patients. Please, do continue...” and Bradshaw took him at his word. 

“You have to understand that Blair is a true genius. He started at Rainier at barely sixteen years of age, and majored in Anthropology. He received his Bachelor’s degree at nineteen and his Master’s in Sentinel Studies at just twenty one. However, because he spent most of his youth travelling with his rather unconventional mother, he managed to avoid all genetic testing until his routine medical when he entered college, so he genuinely had no reason to suspect he was a latent Guide. And certainly had no idea just how talented an empath he was. 

“However – and we’ll never know exactly how – Alex Barnes became aware of him, and abducted him off campus. Poor Blair had just commenced his doctoral programme when she forced him to bond, in the worst possible way, I understand, and the rest is history. 

“He was beaten and raped on a regular basis by her and her cronies, forced to guide her during criminal acts, and generally treated as a sex-toy-cum-slave. He was finally rescued after a shoot-out during a bank raid when Barnes was shot in the head. Blair was brought here, suffering terribly from his injuries at her hands, and also traumatised from the bond broken by the irreversible brain damage from her head wound. For many days we thought we’d lose him, Leroy. But he proved to be stronger than he looked, and finally began to improve. 

“Having said that, he is depressed to a degree, and barely speaks to, or interacts with other patients. Sarah Madison is the only staff member who can get any real reaction from him, although he is completely compliant and obedient in all respects. 

“So, having heard all that, do you still think you can offer him a better life? Because all of us here want that for him. He’s a beautiful, compassionate young man who never deserved what happened to him,” and Bradshaw ceased talking, studying his listener with a quizzically-raised eyebrow. 

This time it was Leroy who paused before responding, realising that a lot rested on his finding the right words. True, he hadn’t been aware of the extent of Sandburg’s suffering, and genuinely sympathised with any Guide who was unnecessarily hurt like that. However, although he considered himself to be an honest and righteous man, he was also self-centred, with a tendency to be arrogant and somewhat opinionated. Unfortunately therefore, he was inclined to believe that any Guide ought to be grateful that he should condescend to bond with them, especially a damaged one. 

This was no time for hauteur, however, so he forced himself to assume an air of modest and thoughtful acquiescence. “Thank you for that, Director. I didn’t know the whole story, as you say. Just what facts I could glean from the Sentinel and Guide Department within the PD. 

“But I still think I can help Guide Sandburg, sir. If he’s willing to see me, I’m prepared to do my best by him,” and he smiled ingratiatingly, turning up the charm as he endeavoured to convince the other man of his integrity. 

He only just managed to prevent himself sighing audibly in relief when Bradshaw nodded his agreement, and settled down to wait for a short while longer until his Guide was brought to him.  


\---------------------  


As Director Bradshaw finished his introductions, Blair jerked out of his intense study of the handsome Sentinel and turned worried eyes towards the older man. “G...Guide, sir? B...But I’m not...I mean, I can’t... I can’t go through that again! D...Don’t ask me, please!” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, turning back to face Montgomery. “This was a mistake. I’m too damaged. I don’t trust Sentinels anymore. I can’t help you, Detective Montgomery,” and he lowered his eyes, half-turning to make for door, needing to make his escape. 

However, Leroy was quicker, and although he sensibly refrained from trying to physically prevent Blair from leaving, he planted himself between the young man and the door. “Whoa, there, Blair! May I call you Blair? Look, just give us a few minutes, OK? I promise I won’t force you into anything, but just hear me out, OK?” and he appealed unashamedly to the empath’s natural instinct to help a Sentinel in trouble, quite happy to manipulate the young man’s feelings in his favour. 

And inwardly congratulated himself gleefully when Blair, chewing nervously on his lower lip, nodded his capitulation and moved slowly to sit on the chair Director Bradshaw indicated to him.  


\---------------------  


**Cascade PD Major Crimes Unit, three months later:**  


Sentinel Detective Jim Ellison strode across the bullpen, looking from left to right with interest as he noted the changes which had taken place in his absence. Although an unbonded Alpha Sentinel by choice, he was a more than competent investigator; conscientious and disciplined; the latter no doubt due to great extent to his military background. He was also tall, buff and handsome, and a loner by inclination, all of which meant that he was particularly suited to certain types of undercover operations. 

And that was exactly what he’d been involved in over the past four months – a joint venture between Seattle PD and Cascade’s Major Crimes Units to shut down a particularly virulent gang of drug smugglers and distributors. The role he had had to play had involved some hard and dirty work, but was ultimately rewarding when the bust went down and virtually all of the gangsters were either killed or arrested, with no fatalities to the good guys. 

All in all, Jim was entitled to a certain degree of self-satisfaction, which almost managed to override the lingering feeling of disgust and deceit that tainted a job otherwise well done. 

He had almost reached his desk – which he noted with irritation already bore a large stack of files and a full in-tray – when a familiar bellow echoed across the room. 

“Ellison, my office, now!” 

With a wry grin, Jim turned aside and crossed instead to his Captain’s office, knocking once before pushing the door open to greet his boss and friend. 

Despite the gruff command, Simon Banks was grinning widely as his best detective entered. “Good to see you, Jim! Take a seat, man. Coffee?” and he produced a fresh pot of the latest gourmet blend from his personal coffee maker. 

At Jim’s grateful nod, he prepared two mugs, and settled down at his desk, handing one over to Jim who took a moment to savour the brew’s rich and enticing aroma. Taking an appreciative sip, he smiled as he murmured, “Ah! Nectar of the gods, Captain. Just what I needed.” 

“Hmph! Glad you approve, Jim. Got to say it still all tastes like Maxwell House to me, though,” and Banks chuckled at his frequently-used joke. 

“Captain Morrison from Seattle PD’s just been on the phone to fill me in with the latest news on the bust. I’ve got to say I’m very proud of you, Jim. I know it’s been a difficult case to crack, but Morrison agrees with me – your part was crucial to the success of the bust, and you’re a credit to the MCU. But don’t let it go to your head!” he added with a wide grin, knowing that Jim was uncomfortable with too much praise. “You won’t have much time to rest on your laurels, I’m afraid, because Cascade’s criminals wait for no man. 

“And there’ve been a few changes I have to bring you up to speed on, although I hope they won’t disconcert you too much.” 

At Jim’s quizzical look, Simon put his mug down and sobered noticeably. “First off, Megan’s asked for – and been granted – permission to relocate here permanently. Now I know you two don’t always see eye to eye...,” and here he paused briefly as Jim snorted in sardonic acknowledgement – “But Inspector Connor’s a darn good detective, Jim. And a credit to the Unit.” 

“Yeah, I know, Simon. And I agree. Even if I can’t stand to work with her on a daily basis, she’s a good cop to have your back. 

“Pity I can’t understand half of what she says though,” he snickered, referring to the exchange officer’s Aussie accent and vocabulary. “Just please try not to pair her with me too often, sir. She might be a sensitive, but as a stand-in Guide she’s no great shakes as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure I’ve still got the bruises from when she tried to pull me out of the last zone, and that was months ago!” 

“So noted, Jim,” replied Simon with a grin. “But there is something else, so brace yourself,” he added warningly. “We now have another Sentinel in the Unit. An Alpha, no less, and a bonded one at that.” He paused a little nervously as he tried to read his detective’s reaction to his words. When Jim scowled furiously, but didn’t speak, he continued hurriedly. “Look, I’m sorry, Jim. It wasn’t my doing, as you no doubt realise – I hope! It’s just that, while you were away, Williams and Johnson left the Unit. Williams retired, and Johnson transferred to IT. After the last shooting, he knew he couldn’t cut it anymore in the front line, and who could blame him? 

“Anyhow, when I was doing the interviews for the vacancies, this guy Leroy Montgomery shows up. And I gotta say, Jim, he impressed the hell outta me. He’s a real bright spark and a determined go-getter with results to match, so I had no problem hiring him. 

“Thing is, he was a latent Alpha, and came online within a couple weeks of joining the Unit. Go figure! Took me completely by surprise! I mean, it certainly wasn’t obvious from his file, but maybe I subconsciously overlooked it. Who knows? Whatever. It was a done deal whether I liked it or not. 

“But then he shows up with a Guide – and suddenly he’s flavour of the month with the brass! Now, don’t worry, Jim. As far as I’m concerned, you’re still top dog in this squad. But I hope you’re going to be able to work with Montgomery. Because if the situation becomes untenable, I’m going to be hard-pressed to decide who gets to stay, and who transfers out, get my drift? I don’t need a constant pissing contest between Alpha males, man!” 

Frown deepening between his brows, Jim sat back as he considered Simon’s words, and how he felt about the implications. Finally, he drew himself up and made his decision, hoping that it was what Simon wanted to hear, both as Captain and friend. 

“OK, Simon. Thanks for the heads-up, and putting me in the picture straight away. I know it can’t have been easy for you. Rewards of leadership, huh?” and he chuckled wryly at Simon’s pained expression. 

“Anyhow, don’t sweat it, sir. I’ve worked with other Sentinels before, both bonded and unbonded, and I think I can handle it. As you probably realise, it’s the Guides that can sometimes be a problem. They always want to help a Sentinel in trouble, be it their own, or anyone else. And that’s where the territorial aggression comes in. I guess I’ll just have to make sure I keep out of Montgomery’s Guide’s way, huh?” 

“Either that, or get one of my own, and that’s just not happening,” he added acerbically. “I don’t want or need some whining empath underfoot – or in my apartment!” he finished with an irritated grimace. 

“Well, that’s your decision, Jim, and I respect it even if I don’t fully understand your reasoning behind it. Suffice it to say, I’m truly relieved at your response, my friend. Because I need you back in the unit, Jim. And not just because of your results. 

“I’ve missed you, my friend,” and his smile was wide and unforced as he held Jim’s equally open grin. 

“Likewise, Boss! And now I guess I ought to look at that pile of paper that seems to have taken root on my desk?” 

“You got it, Detective! Dismissed!” and Simon laughed out loud at Jim’s rueful expression as he left the office.  


\--------------------  


A couple of hours later found Jim still at his desk, ploughing through the seemingly endless stack of paper. He had been disappointed that more of his friends weren’t in the office today, most out and about either chasing up leads or in Megan Connor’s case, making a court appearance. Jim’s face twisted in sympathy at the thought. Court days were a pain in the ass at the best of times, so he didn’t envy her. 

On the other hand, one of his colleagues had made a brief appearance on his way out to a meeting. Joel Taggart, ex-Captain of the Bomb Squad and now seconded to MCU by choice after a crisis of confidence, was a particular favourite of Jim’s. The older man, a rotund and affable African American, was a gentle giant and good friend who could be relied upon to stand by you through thick and thin. Even though he was in a hurry, he gladly made time to exchange a few words of welcome with Jim before hastening on his way. 

“Jim! You’re back! Simon told me you’d be coming in today! Congratulations on closing the Seattle case, man. We’re all proud of you!” and he slapped Jim on the shoulder in greeting, grinning widely enough to almost split his face. 

His own smile almost as bright, Jim reached up to shake Joel’s offered hand. “Thanks, Joel. Got to say it’s good to be back, even with all this...” and he indicated the files with a rueful grimace. “But anyone would think I closed the case single-handed! I was only a small part of the whole operation, you know.” 

“But a vital one, Jim! A vital one! Don’t sell yourself short, my man! Anyhow, I’m sorry I can’t stay and chat, but I’ll catch you later, OK? And the others will be real glad also, I know. We’ll grab a few beers, OK?” 

“Well, I don’t know about that,” responded Jim, a trifle uncertainly, “But yeah, catch you later, Joel. Have a good one!” and he grinned at the retreating back as Joel hurried away. 

Turning back to the file he was currently working through, he suddenly felt what he was apt to refer jokingly to as ‘a Disturbance in the Force’, and knew that either a Sentinel, a Guide, or both was in the vicinity. Cautiously extending his hearing and sense of smell, he was assailed by two new and very different personal scents, one of which he was disturbed to realise was extremely enticing. He could also make out the two unfamiliar heartbeats, one of which thrummed rapidly as if from nervousness, and he found himself beginning to zone on the irresistible sound. Shaking his head angrily at the close call and fully aware that he should control himself better, he reined in his senses and waited for the strangers to enter the bullpen. 

As the doors were pushed open, the first man strode in as if he owned the place, a haughty expression on his handsome face, and a complacent smirk lifting the corner of his well-shaped lips as he glanced about the room. Tall, slim, and very attractive, the guy was well aware of the fact, and was obviously well used to making an entrance. Glancing up from behind his desk, Jim was unable to quite contain the slight sneer on his own face as he sized the other man up. This just had to be Sentinel Detective Montgomery, and Jim knew already that they weren’t going to get on. There was something about the man, other than his status as a Sentinel, which made Jim’s hackles rise, and he found the instinctive dislike unnerving. He was uncomfortably aware that, despite his words of reassurance to Simon, there would undoubtedly be some sort of confrontation between them somewhere down the line. 

Turning his attention to the second man, he found himself compelled to catalogue everything he could about the other, who undoubtedly was Montgomery’s Guide. Realising belatedly that Simon hadn’t even told Jim the Guide’s name, he now understood the oversight, because the smaller figure was going out of his way to be as unobtrusive as possible. He was fairly short in comparison to his Sentinel – and to Jim – probably round 5’6” or 7, and too thin to Jim’s way of thinking. He was dressed in clean but old jeans and a blue Henley, topped by an oversized blue and black plaid shirt, almost as if he was deliberately trying to hide beneath it. 

But despite his efforts at camouflage, Jim found the young man’s face intriguing, and he greedily studied the worried features as the Guide hurried to catch up with his companion. 

The Guide’s hair was a mass of russet curls, barely contained within a tight ponytail at his nape, and Jim briefly contemplated how good the silky locks would feel to sentinel-sensitive touch. The face was beautiful in a completely masculine way, a wide brow above a neat nose and the most stunning, huge blue eyes Jim had seen in a long time. And the succulent mouth was to die for. Shit! Suddenly he was assailed by jealousy the like of which he’d never felt before. This Guide was one he could really have gone for, and he belonged to that pompous peacock! Life really sucked sometimes. 

Just then his attention snapped back to Montgomery as the other man’s challenging gaze met his, and the younger Sentinel sauntered deliberately over to Jim’s desk. The nervous Guide, plainly concerned at the underlying tension, placed a well-shaped hand on Montgomery’s forearm, murmuring soothingly in a sub-vocal whisper that Jim had no trouble in hearing. 

“It’s OK, Leroy. Listen to my voice. Calm down, man, please...,” and had his hand slapped away as the other snarled, “Keep your hands to yourself, Sandburg! I’ll tell you when I need you to touch me, and it’s not now! Go and sit down. There’s plenty of paperwork to catch up on, and remember what I told you...!” he added threateningly, glance flicking to Jim then back to hold the Guide’s wide-eyed gaze. 

Nodding submissively, the smaller man ducked his head and scurried over to his Sentinel’s desk, trying to hide behind the computer monitor as he made a show of pulling the nearest file towards him. However, Jim was well aware that the anxious Guide was monitoring every move his Sentinel made, plainly anticipating trouble. 

As Montgomery planted himself in front of Jim’s desk, Jim stared up at him, eyes cool and posture apparently relaxed, although he was actually coiled and ready to retaliate if necessary. 

“So, you’re Jim Ellison,” Leroy began, his tone barely civil. “I’ve heard all about your exploits, Detective. Endlessly. It seems you have a real rep in this department. Guess I’ll have my work cut out to live up to it, hey?” and the challenge in his eyes was unmistakable. 

“No need for a competition, surely, Sentinel Montgomery?” Jim responded, voice level and unthreatening. “As professionals, I think we ought to be able to work together as part of the team, don’t you?” and he was inwardly gratified as Montgomery’s face betrayed his reaction to Jim’s words. 

For an instant, Leroy looked like he’d been slapped, then his frown deepened as his mouth took on an almost petulant pout. “Fine by me, Ellison! But don’t come sniffing around my Guide, OK? He’s out of bounds to anyone but me. Mine! My Guide!” 

Throwing up his hands carelessly, Jim sat back as he met Leroy’s angry stare unflinchingly. “But of course, Sentinel! Your Guide, understood. If you’ve been told all about me, you’ll already know that I prefer to work alone. Without a Guide. Or a regular police partner if I can avoid it. So you and your Guide are safe from me, OK?” and he deliberately turned back to his file, apparently dismissing the man although covertly monitoring both the Guide’s reactions and Montgomery’s. 

Unable to respond without appearing puerile, Leroy huffed and spun around, bested for once and hating it. He stalked back to his desk and sat down, shoving Blair to one side as he grabbed another file. 

“Not a word, Sandburg!” he hissed, nodding in grim satisfaction as Blair gulped and lowered his gaze. 

As for Jim, it was all he could do to keep from jumping to his feet and dragging Montgomery away from the Guide – Sandburg. He was totally perplexed by his instinctive need to protect the young man, and he didn’t like the feeling. He had promised Simon that he’d try and work with the new Sentinel, and he certainly hadn’t intended to acknowledge the Guide. However, he was ruefully aware that he was going to have his work cut out to deliberately ignore the deliciously-scented young man who was calling to him at the most basic and primal level. Now was not the time to find his true companion at long last, only for said companion to be already tied to another for life.  


\----------------------  


At the other side of the bullpen, Blair busied himself in correcting and typing up Leroy’s reports. The work was routine and uninteresting, but allowed him the opportunity to give free rein to his thoughts as his fingers flew over the keyboard. Usually, he tried to refrain from delving too deeply into introspection because the resulting depression irritated Leroy, who would then take his anger out on Blair. To be fair, he didn’t actually hit his Guide or manhandle him unnecessarily, but his words could be cruel and cutting, often wounding Blair far more deeply than Alex’s physical punishments, and the gods only knew, there had been plenty of those. 

Clamping down fiercely on the urge to sigh and thus irritate Leroy even further, Blair cast his thoughts back to the early days of their bond, trying to figure out just where he had gone wrong. He deliberately avoided dwelling on his eighteen months as Alex’s reluctant Guide and whipping boy, because that way led to abject breakdown, and he so didn’t need to embarrass himself in front of everyone in the bullpen, especially the buff, newly-returned and totally gorgeous Detective Jim Ellison. 

Alex may have had the heightened senses of an Alpha Sentinel, but she was an aberration. A psychotic criminal who was totally self-interested and completely devoid of the true Sentinel’s instinctive desire to protect the tribe. When the bullet entering her brain had robbed her of her gift and thus broken her bond with Blair, he had welcomed the agony with open arms, even though he knew he could die from it. It was only the devoted care and kindness of Sarah Madison and the staff at the hospice which had gradually convinced him that his life was worth living after all, and that an empathic gift such as his shouldn’t be allowed to go to waste. 

But now sometimes he felt that even if he no longer wanted to actually die, perhaps he should have held out longer before committing himself to another Sentinel, even if it meant staying on medication for an unknown length of time. 

Because his bond with Leroy Montgomery was far from what he had envisaged when the man had first approached him at the Guide Hospice. 

Casting his mind back to the early days of their acquaintance, he recalled how pleasant and persuasive Leroy had been. And how clever in his scheming. He had played Blair masterfully, invoking his natural instinct to help a Sentinel in trouble and working on engaging his empathy while implying that he was willing to help Blair get something of his academic life back. 

And Blair had fallen for it. All of it. Although there was still something – some tiny voice of doubt - that had niggled at him, he had given in, and agreed to go home with the handsome detective, trusting that even if they weren’t a true genetic match, a bond between two such strong individuals could be made to work. 

How wrong he had been. In retrospect, if he hadn’t been still physically weakened and his empathy compromised by the dampening meds, perhaps he would have heeded his inner warning system, but it was too late to dwell on that now. 

Leroy had maintained his friendly attitude right up to the point where they had bonded. He was, after all, proud of the fact that he was an Alpha Sentinel, and a Guide with the sort of talent Blair had would only make him better. But as far as considering Blair as an equal partner, that simply didn’t occur to him. To Leroy, a Guide was somewhat akin to a seeing-eye dog. Useful, undoubtedly, and certainly deserving of appropriate care and attention, but just a dog nevertheless. 

And unlike many Sentinels, Leroy was also uncompromisingly straight. He had a long-time girlfriend, hopefully soon to be his fiancée, and he knew for sure that she wouldn’t share him sexually with a Guide, male or female. 

It shamed Blair now to recall how they had finally bonded. He had been justifiably nervous, considering the rapes he had been forced to endure by Alex and her cronies, but when Leroy had stripped down to his underwear in front of him, he had felt the first stirrings of real sexual attraction at the long-limbed gracefulness and smooth chocolate skin on display. 

Although up until Alex Blair had tended to confine his sexual encounters to girls, simply because he had never yet trusted another guy enough to go all the way, he had never had a problem with admiring an attractive body of either sex. As his free-wheeling Mom Naomi had always said, it was the person, not the package that was important, and she made no bones about sharing her brand of free love with whoever took her fancy, and indulged herself only too frequently. 

Witnessing the heart-broken casualties of Naomi’s nomadic lifestyle, as she ‘detached with love’ again and again, Blair had been far less promiscuous in his encounters, and wary of becoming too attached, simply because he was afraid of being dumped in a similar way. But aware now that a Sentinel and Guide bond was normally for life, and having been rescued unexpectedly from a horrific existence of servility and cruelty with Alex, he had felt truly grateful for a second chance with Leroy, naively believing that their attraction was mutual. 

Not so. Leroy had made it very clear that fateful night that Blair was no more to him than a useful tool, and as a person, of less interest even than a casual friend. When Blair had reached out a trembling hand to touch bare skin, Leroy had slapped it away with a growl. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Sandburg? Do you think I’m some sort of fag? Surely you didn’t think I wanted that sort of bond from you, did you?” and he had scowled at the devastation and shame that flooded the crestfallen young man’s face. 

“I’m sorry, Leroy,” Blair managed to choke out. “I...I...I misunderstood. I thought you wanted me....” 

“Well, of course I do, you idiot! But I want a Guide, not a lover! I’ve already got one of those, and you’ll meet her soon enough. Now, let’s get on with this shall we, then I can get some proper sleep..,’” and he had pulled Blair over to the bed, stripping him matter-of-factly and pushing him down to lie flat, uncaring of the hurt filling his Guide-to-be’s wet blue eyes. 

As Blair lay passive, too shocked and dejected to fight against the inevitable, Leroy had imprinted him thoroughly, clinically – and completely non-sexually - until the moment came when their minds joined as one. Blair was immediately aware of his new Sentinel’s satisfaction at a job well done, even as the man’s total disinterest in his Guide’s hopes and wishes was made blatantly clear. 

With a smug grin, Leroy had rolled away from Blair, ignoring the few tears that leaked from beneath his Guide’s tightly-closed lids as he said, “Thanks, kiddo. Now we can get to work on some real Sentinel stuff, and I’ll show everyone how good a bonded Alpha can be. I’m going to be the best the PD ever had.” Then he had pulled Blair up, and sent him on his way with a casual slap to his bare butt, saying, “You can cover up now, Sandburg, and go back to your room. See you in the morning,” and he had turned on his side and buried his head in his pillow, falling asleep almost immediately and leaving Blair to make his way down to his small bedroom to cry himself to sleep. 

In the ensuing weeks, they had settled into a routine both at home and at work, and for the most part, Leroy at least was reasonably satisfied. From a Sentinel’s point of view, he had no complaints, since Blair proved to be every bit as talented a natural Guide as he could have wished for. Leroy’s senses were more acute and easily controlled than he could ever have imagined, and he was happy to soak up the admiration and envy directed at both himself and his Guide. 

Having said that, he still had no interest at all in Blair-the-man, only insofar as he felt duty-bound to ensure that his Guide had the necessary creature comforts to keep him in reasonable working order. And if Blair’s spirit remained broken and his energy levels constantly subdued, it didn’t bother Leroy at all as long as his guiding ability wasn’t affected. 

He certainly did consider Blair-the-Guide to be a valuable asset, however, and was ultra-possessive to the point of aggression if anyone should make what Leroy considered to be an inappropriate approach towards him, and that went especially for unbonded Sentinels. If Montgomery could have had ‘Property of LM’ tattooed on Blair’s forehead for all to see, Blair was cynically certain that it would have been done. 

Pity he didn’t feel so protective when it came to his fiancée, however. Monica Lewis had moved in with them within days of their bonding, and had made it very clear that she bitterly resented even the tiny amount of space and consideration afforded to Blair. She went out of her way to insult and belittle the young man, even in Leroy’s hearing, having found out quickly enough that her lover showed little interest in the Guide except when working with him. And Blair remembered that she had invited several of her equally bitchy friends around for dinner tonight, so he would have to remain closeted in his tiny room if he wanted to avoid either being vilified or treated as an unpaid servant, or both. This time, he couldn’t prevent the sigh escaping, and he cringed minutely at the expected growl of annoyance from Leroy. 

“Now what, Sandburg? Can’t cope with a few files? And you say you want to go back to college! Huh!” and Leroy sneered disdainfully down at Blair’s lowered head. 

“No, Sentinel. It’s not that,” Blair murmured apologetically. “Just lost in my thoughts, is all. I’m OK, really. Sorry!” and he concentrated hard on his typing, hoping to deflect Leroy’s irritation away from him. 

Little did he know that, across the room from him, Jim Ellison was finding more and more to dislike about his new Sentinel colleague as the afternoon dragged on....  


\---------------------  


**MCU Bullpen, several days later:**  


Jim entered the bullpen towing a cuffed suspect behind him, intending to claim an interview room and commence interrogating the scruffy and cringing youngster as soon as possible. He was making good progress on a couple of tough cases passed over to him by Simon, and all-in-all he was pretty satisfied with his success thus far. 

“Hey, Jimbo! That your next big break?” Detective Henri ‘H’ Brown called out cheerfully, nodding towards Jim’s prisoner. “Best take it easy on him, my man, or he’ll be wetting himself. You’re a scary guy!” and the jovial dark-skinned man chuckled as he nudged his partner, Brian Rafe. 

The dapper young detective rolled his eyes in faked exasperation as he straightened an already immaculate suit coat sleeve. “Take no notice, Jim. H’s just jealous because our lead didn’t pan out, and it looks like Westerhouse’ll walk. No one wants to talk to us. Can’t think why!” 

Acknowledging his colleagues good-naturedly, Jim responded easily, “Yeah, me and Billy here have plenty to talk about. Don’t we, Billy?” he added, pinning the snivelling youth with a hard glare. “But I’m sorry about Westerhouse though. But then he’s a _really_ scary guy, so I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. Hope you can find another lead from somewhere. 

“Are Joel and Megan coming in later today?” he continued, enjoying the easy camaraderie. 

“Yeah, they’re on their way in now,” H answered. “Just checking out a few of those businesses implicated in that insurance scam the Mayor’s got her panties in a bunch about. Megan was not happy! That woman knows more swear words than I’ve ever heard before. At least, I think they were swear words. With that accent it’s sometimes difficult to tell!” and he laughed uproariously at his own joke. 

Grinning in response, Jim gave a mock salute as he turned away, pushing his prisoner in front of him to the nearest free interview room. “Later, guys!” 

“Yeah, later Jim.”  


\----------------------  


Later that afternoon, Jim was back at his desk having finished his interrogation, and pleased with the information his suspect had almost fallen over himself to disclose. All being well, Jim would be able to follow up on it within the next couple of days, and if the gods were willing, he’d get the case closed soon enough. However, he wasn’t so happy at the thought of the report he had to type up, and for a wistful moment he wished he had a Guide to do his typing for him like Montgomery did. 

At that thought, Jim scowled as he considered the on-going situation where the other Sentinel was concerned. 

Since his return, Jim had quickly settled back into the normal bullpen routine, happy to interact with colleagues like H, Rafe, Joel and Megan, and pleasing Simon with the results of his work so far. The downside, however, was the fact that Leroy Montgomery had taken it upon himself to try and outdo Jim in every respect, determined to better Jim’s already impressive record and sulking dramatically when things didn’t go his way. When Simon had given Jim a case the younger Sentinel believed should have been his, you could cut the atmosphere in the bullpen with a knife, and Blair invariably suffered on such occasions from his Sentinel’s bad temper and cutting comments. 

The result was that Jim was getting more and more antsy, but on the young Guide’s behalf rather than his own. However, he was still trying hard to keep his promise to Simon not to confront Montgomery unnecessarily, although for how much longer he didn’t know. And the temptation to reach out to the young Guide was definitely growing to uncomfortable proportions as time went on. 

However, Megan Connor had no such scruples, and was almost as protective of Blair as Jim was. Joel was also fond of the quiet young man, but tended to be more circumspect in his support, not wanting to stoke the flames of inter-personnel conflict any more than he could help in case Blair got burned. 

H and Rafe both disliked Leroy’s attitude, but chose to avoid him rather than provoke bad feeling. They also sympathised with the Guide, and a perplexed H had commented to Jim one day when Leroy and Blair were out of the office. “I don’t get it, Jim. I mean, the few other Sentinel and Guide pairs I’ve met and worked with on occasion never acted like this. They always seemed genuinely fond of each other, and worked together as equals. A proper team. Where’s Montgomery coming from, treating that kid so badly? And why does the kid stay?” 

“Well, he stays because he has to, H, I’m sorry to say. Because whether he chose it or not, Guide Sandburg is fully bonded with that miserable bastard, and the only way to break a bond between a strong pair like that is through the death of one partner. And if that occurs, very often the other partner will soon follow. That is, if they actually love each other. I doubt Blair loves Montgomery now, if he ever did, but he’d probably still go into a decline if anything happened to the guy. 

“But as to your other question, you’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that partnership. It’s like nothing I’ve ever encountered before either, and I gotta say I really feel for that kid. Makes me glad I don’t have a Guide myself though. I’d hate to think I could behave like that towards another person, especially one who’s dependent on me for his sanity.” 

“Oh come on, Jimbo!” exclaimed Megan, who had just joined them. “I might think you’re a pain in the ass sometimes,” she continued with a cheeky grin, “But you’d never treat Blair like that,” and her expression sobered again. 

“I’ve got to say I feel for that poor little bugger. Stuck with that bloody drongo for life!” and she had frowned fiercely in frustrated aggravation. 

Jim’s lips lifted in a sardonic half-grin as he considered the blunt Australian Inspector’s continuing attitude towards Montgomery. 

Not one to hide her feelings, Megan regularly got right up in the other Sentinel’s face, totally ignoring his territorial posturing as she told him what she thought of him in no uncertain terms. She also made a point of interacting with Blair, for which the young man was very grateful, even though it invariably resulted in Leroy being nastier to him than usual. And because Megan was after all a low-grade empath herself, Montgomery could no more hurt her than he could physically punish Blair. 

But he didn’t have to like it, and his temper was growing shorter each passing day.  


\-------------------------  


Just then, Jim’s musings were halted by the arrival of Montgomery and Blair, Leroy as usual making his entrance as much of a production as possible while Blair slipped quietly in behind him. Before the pair could reach their desk, however, Simon’s face appeared from round his door, and he bellowed, “Montgomery! My office!” then his tone moderated as both men turned towards him. “It’s all right, Sandburg. You don’t have to come,” he added, almost kindly, and Jim smiled inwardly at this rare glimpse into his Captain’s softer side. 

Nodding shyly, and with a glance up at Montgomery for permission, Blair returned to his seat and began to pull out some paperwork to get on with while Leroy was occupied in his boss’ office. 

A few minutes later, Megan returned from a visit to the breakroom and, spotting Blair, strolled over to him and addressed him in her usual forthright manner, a huge smile of welcome on her face. 

“Hey, Sandy! Where’ve you been all morning?” and she perched a hip on the edge of his desk as she began to regale him with deliberately exaggerated descriptions of her and Joel’s abortive visits to various weird business premises on the Mayor’s behalf. Soon Blair was smiling at her wild tales and colourful vocabulary, and Jim was utterly captivated by the change in the young man’s pale face. The beautiful blue eyes actually sparkled in genuine pleasure, and the brief glimpse of his inner glow soon attracted the attention of everyone else in the vicinity. When Megan leaned down and tickled him, he giggled spontaneously in real happiness, revealing even white teeth as he laughed. 

Suddenly, Simon’s office door burst open to reveal a furious Montgomery, who charged across the bullpen despite his Captain’s shout of outrage. 

“Get away from him! _No one_ touches my Guide! _No one_ is to interact with him! He works for me, and me alone!” and he glared threateningly at Megan, who slid off the desk and faced up to him, almost nose to nose as she was nearly the same height. And she wasn’t about to back down. 

“Who the bloody hell do you think you’re talking to, mate? I’ll talk to whoever I want, and Blair has as much right to a bit of company as anyone else! So why don’t you just bugger off and mind your own business!” 

For an instant it looked as if Montgomery was actually considering striking her, and as Simon barked out an order for him to back down, Blair automatically reached for him, instinctively wanting to sooth and calm his Sentinel. 

And for the first time, Leroy hit him. 

In all honesty, it wasn’t intentional, more a reaction to the impeding grip on his forearm. Throwing the arm up violently to shake off Blair’s hand, he caught his Guide across the face, knocking the smaller man aside as he cried out in shock. 

Momentarily horror-struck, Leroy looked on aghast as Megan instantly gathered Blair up in her arms and was then knocked literally sideways as a furious Jim Ellison tackled him to the ground. 

For a few fraught seconds, it looked as if the two Alpha Sentinels were set for a possible fight to the death, but Simon was having none of it. Casting all caution aside and bellowing like an enraged bull, his furious commands broke through the red haze of aggression, and breathing hard both men reluctantly pulled apart and rose to their feet. However, neither relaxed his stance, their communication reduced to feral snarls while their colleagues quickly got out of their way. 

“My office, both of you!” growled Simon. “Megan, Joel, you OK taking care of Sandburg?” When they nodded enthusiastically, Leroy made to reach for Blair only to have Simon grab his arm. 

“Don’t even think about hitting _me_ Detective Montgomery! Stand down, and get your ass into my office. You too, Ellison. Let’s try and sort out this mess!”  


\------------------------  


As Simon herded his recalcitrant subordinates unceremoniously into his office, Megan pushed Blair gently down into his seat. “Come on, love, let’s have a gander at the damage, huh?” and she pulled his hands away from his face. To be honest, Blair was more embarrassed than hurt, having been used to far worse during his time with Alex, and he found it hard to meet her enquiring gaze. In actual fact, Leroy’s elbow had caught the bridge of his nose, hard enough to shock him, but not actually breaking it. However, it was bleeding quite profusely so the effect was rather dramatic. 

While Megan checked him over, Joel came back with the first aid kit from the breakroom, along with a clean, wet towel with which to wipe Blair’s face. Blair tilted his head back in an effort to control the flow of blood, and Megan passed him handfuls of tissues, all the while chatting soothingly and doing her utmost to put her patient at ease. 

Once the bleeding had slowed to a trickle, and finally stopped altogether, Joel handed over the wet towel and Megan carefully mopped the gore from Blair’s face and neck. 

“You look like a vampire’s been chomping on you, love. Have to say the red clashes with your flannel!” and she was gratified when he responded with a tiny snort. Once the clean up was accomplished as much as possible, Megan stepped back, and, cupping Blair’s cheeks with careful hands, she surveyed the already bruised and swelling tissue with a critical frown. 

“Luckily, I don’t think there’s much seriously wrong, love. But you’ll have two bonzer shiners tomorrow!” At Blair’s quizzical expression, she laughed out loud and explained. “Black eyes, love!” Then she sobered. “Has this happened before, Blair? I know he’s a real bastard to you around the bullpen, but I never thought he’d hit you.” 

Glancing from Megan’s worried face to Joel’s equally concerned one; Blair ducked his head, shy and ashamed. 

“No,” he whispered. “He’s never hit me before, and this was an accident.” Then he turned away, his eyes taking on a distant look as he continued, voice cracking a little, “If I was a better Guide, he wouldn’t get so mad. I ought to be able to keep him calm. But he doesn’t like me to touch him unless we’re working...” He was unable to voice his other concerns – that Monica was insanely jealous of even the limited touching and linking that they were forced to do to maintain a working bond. 

Turning his face back towards her again, Megan spoke firmly. “No, Sandy. It’s not your fault. Even Michael and all his Archangels would have a job to guide that one! I reckon he’s got a roo loose in the top paddock!” she added, tapping her temple with one finger. And she was thrilled when her comment earned her a perplexed frown swiftly followed by a real grin of appreciation. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t take long until Blair resumed his usual shy anxiety, and both Megan and Joel understood that he was deeply uncomfortable with attracting any untoward attention. Although the bullpen had returned to what passed for normal activity after the excitement of the altercation, there were still plenty of openly inquisitive glances towards the office as Jim and Leroy’s colleagues tried to guess what was transpiring within. As Joel cleared away the first aid kit and towels, Megan gave Blair another quick squeeze, then sat quietly beside him in Leroy’s chair, having no intention of leaving him alone until the meeting was over. 

When the office door finally opened and all three men emerged, she reached over and patted Blair’s hand quickly before returning to her own seat. Giving him a rueful smile, she murmured, “For what it’s worth, Sandy, I’m really sorry too. If I hadn’t have provoked him, this wouldn’t have happened.” 

To which Blair replied with touching honesty, “It’s OK, Megan. I don’t mind. It’s nice to have a friend...” and he blushed a little and ducked his head again, thus missing the brief flash of appreciation and deep emotion that twisted Megan’s features as she fought against the desire to bundle him up and take him home with her, needing to keep him safe.  


\-----------------------  


While Blair was being attended to in the bullpen, Simon was reading the riot act to the two glowering Sentinels seated across from him. 

Pinning Montgomery with a basilisk stare, he growled, “So, Sentinel Montgomery! Just what was all that about? Explain yourself, man. I don’t expect to see that sort of belligerence in my bullpen, and I sure as hell won’t tolerate violence toward a civilian partner. I thought Sentinels were supposed to look out for their Guides!” 

Leroy had the decency to look ashamed at his words, knowing that he had over-reacted and honestly sorry for having injured Blair even accidentally. But he still felt aggrieved at Banks’ attitude. Couldn’t he grasp the concept that Sandburg was his, and not here to fraternise with that Australian bitch? And as for Ellison...! Gritting his teeth and making a valiant effort to moderate his language and his temper, he met Simon’s frowning appraisal. 

“I apologise for my behaviour, Captain,” he began stiffly. “I certainly didn’t intend to hit Sandburg, but he has to learn that as my Guide, it is his duty to be concerned with my well-being and not waste time making small-talk with the other detectives--” 

“What? What sort of shit is that?” Jim exclaimed, unable to keep silent any longer. “You selfish bastard! You don’t deserve any Guide, let alone a talented one like Guide Sandburg. For crying out loud, man, a Sentinel’s supposed to cherish and protect his Guide – _all_ Guides! Yet you treat the kid like shit, and don’t respond to him even when he’s trying to help!” 

“Whoa, Jim! Hold on a minute,” Simon cut in loudly, not wanting the situation to deteriorate into violence again. “I get what you’re saying, and I agree, but just what the Hell got into _you,_ Jim? You said you’d worked alongside other Sentinels before - even bonded ones –with no problem. What exactly is it between you and Montgomery? Because if you two can’t settle your differences, I’m going to have to let one of you go!” 

Sighing deeply and pausing for a long moment to try and settle himself, Jim finally looked up to gaze at his friend and Captain, his expression frank and open. “You’re right, Captain, and I know I said I’d try to get along with Montgomery, but it’s more than just petty rivalry going on here. I mean, to be honest I don’t give a shit who comes top of the arrest and conviction rankings, as long as we get our jobs done. If Leroy wants to be top dog, so what? Credit where credit’s due. 

“But I can’t and won’t stand by to watch him treat a Guide like dirt. I understand he’s going to feel possessive about Sandburg, and rightly so. But being possessive shouldn’t be an excuse to dictate a Guide’s every movement and control every casual relationship. 

“And he sure as hell shouldn’t consider his Guide as property or a second class citizen rather than an equal partner. That sort of misconception was supposed to have been stamped out years ago. 

“Anyway, sir, all I can say is that I’ll try to keep my promise – and my temper – as long as Montgomery modifies his behaviour towards Guide Sandburg. That’s all I can offer, sir,” and he sat back, arms folded to await Simon’s decision. He certainly wasn’t going to admit that he knew to the depths of his soul that in a perfect world, Blair Sandburg should have been his, and he was going to make it his responsibility to watch over the young Guide whenever feasible from now on. 

While Jim had been speaking, Simon had studied Montgomery’s darkening scowl and increasing tension, and admitted to himself that if push came to shove, it would be the younger Sentinel who got his marching orders, bonded pair or not. However, he preferred that they try to make a go of working together, especially as he knew exactly where Jim was coming from in respect to young Blair. It may not be Banks’ responsibility outside of office hours, but he also felt the need to at least monitor the young man’s status while he could. And as an Alpha Sentinel, it followed that Jim would have this urge to protect in spades. 

Satisfied with his decision, he glared from one to the other, and said, “Right then, you two. This is how it’s going to be. 

“You, Jim. I’m going to hold you to your promise to try and control your behaviour around Montgomery and Sandburg, so don’t let me down. 

“As for you, Montgomery, I expect to see a marked improvement in your attitude towards your Guide, and for you to make an effort to integrate with your colleagues more. This aggressively competitive stance is disruptive rather than helpful, and my people have made it very clear how they feel about your arrogant behaviour. You’re a good cop, and could be an even better one, but it’s not down to Sandburg alone. You’ve got to learn to respect your Guide, and your colleagues. Make your partnership work, and work within the team. 

“Because if you can’t, you’re transferring out, OK?” and he stared the other man down, expression uncompromising. 

Montgomery was the first to break eye contact, and appeared to have accepted defeat in this instance, but his sulky and morose attitude didn’t give Simon or Jim confidence that the battle was won. His curt response wasn’t convincing either, but it was all he was prepared to concede for now, and would have to do. 

“Yes, sir. I understand, Captain, and I shall do my best to follow your orders. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to take my Guide home and get him checked out properly.” 

And Simon could do no more than grant his permission, exchanging a wry glance with Jim as Leroy rose and preceded them out of the office, stalking purposefully over to his desk to claim his Guide.   


\-------------------------  


**Later that night, Leroy’s apartment:**  


Blair lay curled up on his small bed, head aching abominably both from the aftermath of the blow to his nose, and from the effort to pull together the ragged edges of his rapidly-fraying barriers. The apartment was silent, since Leroy and Monica had gone out for dinner, and Blair supposed that in one sense it was no bad thing. 

On the way home from the PD, Leroy had been uncharacteristically mindful of Blair’s comfort, but there was a definite undertone of resentment in his attitude, and Blair had no trouble in discerning that Leroy blamed Blair for getting him into trouble with both Banks and Sentinel Ellison. And, truth be told, with virtually all of the other bullpen personnel. Blair sighed deeply, knowing that Montgomery was always going to blame anyone or anything but himself for errors and accidents, whether major or minor, because his egoism didn’t allow room for self-doubt. 

Having said that, Leroy had been genuinely apologetic about hurting Blair, even though he had managed to imply that it was Blair’s fault to some extent. But what the heck? An apology was an apology, so Blair cynically considered that he ought to be grateful for that. 

On the other hand, Blair was desperately in need of some form of shielding, since they hadn’t bonded for some while, and his added pain and shock had weakened his barriers even more. He knew that Leroy was aware of the situation, but Monica had been so vitriolic on their return he had allowed himself to be distracted from his duty as a Sentinel. 

Sneering in disdain at Blair’s battered features, Monica had shown not one iota of sympathy as she insisted that Leroy take her out to dinner. Stridently declaring that they would be late for their reservation, and that he - meaning Blair – would be better off resting in his room, she smirked in mean-spirited triumph at having denied the much-maligned Guide his Sentinel’s healing touch yet again. 

Moaning softly as another painful spike pierced his skull, Blair rolled over, trying to get comfortable enough to perhaps doze a little until Leroy’s return, because for sure they wouldn’t be able to put off bonding any longer. Not unless Leroy wanted a permanently-damaged and non-functioning Guide on his hands, and right now that didn’t seem like such a bad option to Blair. 

When even sleep eluded him, he let his mind wander, trying to ignore the emotions battering at him from the world outside that threatened to overwhelm and drive him to the point of insanity. 

For a few moments, he allowed himself to fantasise wistfully about being cared for and cherished by a Sentinel like Jim Ellison. 

As soon as he had set eyes on the big cop, furtively checking him out, and even daringly ‘reading’ him quickly, he had felt a strong tug of mutual recognition between them. For sure, Ellison looked hard-nosed and unapproachable, but nevertheless Blair knew instinctively that he was everything an Alpha Sentinel ought to be: strong, alert, conscientious and undeniably handsome. And Blair had realised with a honk of shame that, given the opportunity, he could have thrown himself at the godlike creature’s feet without a second thought. 

But there was no way that was ever going to happen now. He had been used and abused by one so-called Sentinel, then claimed by another almost as abusive if not in a physical sense. So all he could do was dream of the ‘what-might-have-beens’ if he’d only had the information and the opportunity to get onto the Guide database as a child. Perhaps then he could have been matched to one such as Jim Ellison, and his life would have been worth something. For a fleeting instant, he hated Naomi and her anti-establishment extremism which had denied him a worthwhile partner, but he could never hold a grudge against her for long. She had done her best to give him everything she thought he needed, even if her idealism was sometimes off-beat and out there. And he knew without a doubt that she loved him as much as she was capable of doing. 

And although he had no way of knowing it, if Jim hadn’t been stuck on an all-night stakeout across town that night, he might have been there already, riding to the rescue of the hurting Guide, and damn the consequences. 

Shortly after, he was roused from his introspection by a persistent knocking at the door. Knowing that Leroy and Monica weren’t due back yet, he cursed silently as he dragged himself off his bed and shuffled to the door, hoping that his head wasn’t about to fall his shoulders as he did so. 

He peeked through the peephole, and was surprised to see Sarah Madison peering anxiously at the door. Opening it immediately, he tried for a welcoming grin as she studied him worriedly before stepping inside. 

“I’m so sorry to disturb you, Blair, honey, but you missed your routine assessment appointment yesterday. Director Bradshaw was expecting you and Sentinel Montgomery to check in. I was worried that you might have forgotten?” 

“Um, yeah, I guess we did,” Blair muttered distractedly. “I’m sorry, Sarah. Um, I’ll tell Leroy, OK? And perhaps he’ll make another appointment...” and he tailed off, swaying as yet another rush of emotion, this time from Sarah, beat against his failing empathic barriers. 

Immediately realising what was wrong, Sarah fought to control her sudden fury and project calming and soothing ‘vibes’ to Blair instead. 

“I’m so sorry, honey,” she murmured gently, carefully taking his hand and leading him back inside. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to sit with you awhile until your Sentinel gets back. Perhaps I can help ease the struggle for you just a little,” and she wrapped a comforting arm around his waist as he gratefully stumbled towards his tiny bedroom. 

“Th...th...thanks, Sarah,” he managed, offering her a sickly attempt at a smile. “If it’s really OK with you, I’d really appreciate it...” and he sank down on his small bed, gratefully clinging on to Sarah’s freely-offered support. 

Even though it took all of her considerable self-discipline, Sarah just about managed to control her raw anger at what she saw. Not only was Blair obviously suffering from a physical blow, but his tiny room was so bare and unwelcoming. There was nothing but a few battered anthropology texts and a couple of cheap prints on the wall to alleviate the barren feel, and she wondered what the hell sort of life her favourite patient had been living since he left the hospice. 

She had expected at least that Blair would have been sharing a room with Montgomery, and she had hoped to see the evidence of Leroy’s promise that Blair would be able to work towards regaining some portion of his academic life. 

But there was nothing to suggest that Blair even strayed far from the apartment by himself. 

As Blair tossed restlessly on his bed, she whispered gently, “Blair, honey. Are you getting your Guide stipend OK?” 

Struggling to concentrate, Blair murmured, “Er, yeah, I guess. But Leroy doesn’t like me to shop by myself, so he just takes what he needs for my upkeep, you know? I ‘s’pose the rest goes into my account....” and he drifted off again. 

Sarah was horrified by everything she had witnessed so far, and as a sensitive, she was well aware of his obvious pain and depression. Even as she gently stroked Blair’s pale face, she was planning on the best way to help her favourite Guide.  


\----------------------  


Some while later, Sarah was roused from her thoughts by the rattle of the key in the door. Carefully tucking Blair’s hand beneath the covers, she rested her cool palm against his fevered brow for a second before leaving the small room and striding purposefully into the main room. Arms akimbo, she glared at the couple who entered, laughing happily and plainly unaware of her presence. She snorted derisively when Montgomery belatedly registered her, the evidence of his distraction plain in his guilty double-take. 

“About time you got back, _Sentinel!”_ she snarled, not about to give him any quarter, or chance to defend himself. “Just what has been going on here? Why has Blair got a face like a prize-fighter, and why is he entering the final stages of an empathic melt-down? Don’t give me any excuses now, Montgomery! Just get in there and bond with your Guide before he is permanently damaged! And don’t think that Director Bradshaw isn’t going to hear every detail of what I’ve witnessed tonight!” 

Guilt over-riding his aggravation for the moment, Leroy glared at her then started for Blair’s room with ill-grace, aware that he had been lax in his responsibilities towards his Guide and finally concerned that it was going to rebound on him. 

As soon as Sarah was satisfied that bonding was in progress, she turned her attention to the sour-faced bitch still standing open-mouthed in front of the door. 

Hackles rising with instinctive dislike, Sarah went for the jugular again without pause. “So. You’re Leroy Montgomery’s fiancée, huh? I can already tell that you resent Blair’s presence, so don’t try to deny it! But let me tell you, lady, there’s no way I’m going to let you get between Sentinel and Guide! Once Director Bradshaw hears about what’s been going on, you and Leroy both are in for a world of trouble! 

“I realise that it’s hard on an established couple to accept the necessity for a Guide, but I’ve never come across a situation like this where outright cruelty is involved. Either learn to live with it, or take a hike, lady, because you won’t win. If you succeed in driving Blair to insanity or suicide, your precious Leroy will hate you for it, and I’ll make certain you get charged with Guide abuse at minimum! 

“Don’t bother to try and talk to me now, I’m way too angry to listen. Just know that I’m on my way to Director Bradshaw right now, and after that, I’ll be sending my report to the Sentinel and Guide Department at Cascade PD. You’re done with hurting Blair!” and she whirled out of the apartment without another glance, leaving an astounded, and rather frightened, Monica in her wake.  


\--------------------  


**Part 2: A Hopeless Case:**  


The following morning, Montgomery reported for duty alone. Although several of his colleagues were desperate to find out how Blair was, most knew that their queries would likely be rebuffed, so it was only Simon Banks and Joel as his superior officers who actually received a satisfactory explanation. Since Simon immediately grounded Leroy and put him on desk duty for the day, other interested parties had to wait until they left the office to share any news amongst themselves, as no one needed the aggravation that a direct appeal to the sulking Sentinel would garner them. And furtive speculation would almost certainly be picked up by sentinel-sensitive ears. 

As Megan was Joel’s usual partner, as soon as they drove out of the PD parking garage on the way to yet more interviews, she impatiently demanded to hear what Montgomery had had to say for himself. 

Smiling wryly at his irrepressible friend, Joel didn’t keep her waiting any longer, even though he well knew that she wasn’t going to like what he had to tell her. “Well now, first off, you were right in saying that Blair’s facial injuries aren’t serious. According to Montgomery, if you can believe anything he says, they aren’t causing him much pain, although they are very colourful. Which no doubt is one reason why Leroy’s too embarrassed to bring him into the office. 

“However,” he continued more seriously, “apparently that isn’t all that’s wrong with Blair at the moment. Although I’m sure Montgomery would have preferred to keep it to himself, it seems that there was an incident at their apartment last night that was witnessed by one of Blair’s ex-carers, and she made a point of reporting it directly to both her own Director and to the PD’s Sentinel and Guide Department. Who of course informed Simon. 

“Anyhow,” he went on, his normally genial face creased by a frown of concern and disgust. “Apparently Montgomery chose to go out to dinner with his fiancée rather than bond with Blair, and by the time Ms Madison called by, the boy was well on the way to an empathic breakdown. 

“She was livid, and when they returned, she ordered Montgomery to bond immediately, then reported back to her boss. Dragged him out of bed, I heard, so that didn’t go down too well. Needless to say, Montgomery’s in deep shit with all concerned, and serves him right!” 

Megan’s response was immediate and expected. “That bastard! Jesus, Joel! How the _hell_ did he manage to get a Guide – _any_ Guide? Bloody hell, I could kill him myself! Would too, if only I didn’t know what it would do to Sandy. 

“Well, one thing’s for sure. Jimbo’s not going to take this well at all...” 

And Joel simply nodded in sombre agreement.  


\-----------------------  


As Jim had been given permission to report in late because of the all-night stakeout, he didn’t catch up with the news until much later in the day. Wanting to avert another potential confrontation, on Jim’s arrival, Simon had immediately headed him off at the pass, emerging from his office to take his subordinate and friend for an early lunch. 

“Not that I’m complaining, Simon, but what gives? I’d like to think that it’s because you’ve been missing my scintillating company, but I’ve got a feeling it’s more than that,” and Jim slanted his friend an assessing glance. 

Slapping Jim on the shoulder, Simon snickered before answering. “Yep, got it in one, Jim! There is something I want to discuss with you, but I’ve missed your company socially also. It’s been too long since we’ve just had a couple of beers and chewed the fat together. 

“Anyhow, how about we go to Barney’s Bar? I feel the need for home-made burger.” 

Nodding in enthusiastic agreement, Jim turned around and accompanied his boss out of the office, thus missing Leroy’s angry and calculating stare that tracked his exit.  


\-----------------------  


A short while later Jim was barely holding it together, although he was trying hard for Simon’s sake. The two men had chatted inconsequentially all the way from the PD to the cosy bar a short walk away, and they had gotten as far as ordering their beers and food before Simon judged it safe to broach the subject of Leroy’s Guide. 

“So, you’re telling me that, even after physically injuring his Guide, Montgomery goes out with his fiancée rather than bond to repair Blair’s shields? What the fuck was he thinking? Or was he thinking at all? Is he so pussy-whipped by that bimbo that he feels he can ignore even his Guide’s most basic needs? Shit, Simon. If I could, I’d call him out, but that wouldn’t help Sandburg. And now you’re telling me that Blair was barely recovered from a first broken bond? I can’t believe that kid’s still functioning, let alone relatively sane! Honestly, now I know what I know, it’s going to be so hard not to be in Montgomery’s face every minute I spend with him.” 

“I do understand how you feel, Jim, truly. Sentinel BPS aside, when I got the whole picture from the Sentinel and Guide department – and confirmed it for myself by contacting the Guide Hospice direct – there was nothing I wanted more than to kick that arrogant piece of shit’s butt right out the bullpen! But like you say, it would be Blair who would suffer the worst consequences, and I sure as shit don’t want that on my conscience. Having a son myself, I feel almost as protective towards that boy as I do towards Daryl. 

“And don’t forget that now the Sentinel and Guide department are fully in the picture, so Montgomery’s going to be closely monitored from now on, at least until he can satisfy all concerned that he’s mended his ways and is looking after Blair properly, if not with affection. So for the boy’s sake, and MCU’s, I’m asking you to control the urge to beat the shit out of Montgomery, and just be there for Blair when he needs it. And you know you’ll have back-up in that department. For a start, Megan and Joel are rooting for him, so whether he realises it or not, Sandburg has friends. Friends who care.” 

And whether he liked it or not, at least for the present, Jim had no option but to accept his Captain’s viewpoint.  


\-------------------------  


Over the coming weeks, the atmosphere in the bullpen resumed some sort of normality, although several of the occupants remained on the alert for any signs of untoward discord between Leroy and Blair. Blair had returned to work alongside his Sentinel after a couple more days in which to recover, and seemed well enough despite the spectacular bruising which took a while to fade. 

And it did seem that Leroy had loosened up a little as far as allowing Blair to interact with others, even if his scowl indicated that it was contrary to his personal preference. The fact was that he had been seriously shaken by the reaction of both his colleagues and superiors, and wasn’t about to risk being kicked out of Major Crimes. As far as he was concerned, he couldn’t care less whether or not he would ever be ‘Mr Popularity’ with his peers, as long as he did his job to the best of his ability, and that necessitated working with a Guide. His burning ambition to be top cop in not just the MCU, but the whole of the PD remained intact. Ellison’s run as ‘Cop of the Year’ was about to be ended if Leroy Montgomery had anything to say about it. 

And if he had to moderate his attitude towards, and treatment of his Guide to achieve that goal, then so be it.  


\-------------------------  


During this period, life had certainly improved for Blair, if not becoming miraculously satisfactory overnight. Now he was able to interact more with the other cops and clerical staff in the bullpen - although Leroy’s tolerance didn’t extend to fraternisation outside Major Crimes - he was pleasantly surprised to find that he was actually well-liked for himself, and not just as an organic extension of his Sentinel. Megan and Joel in particular made a point of including him in their conversations, and he was a real favourite with Rhonda, Simon Banks’ cool, blonde and very efficient secretary. H had taken to teasing him and calling him ‘Hairboy’, which amused Blair no end, while Rafe, although less ebullient than his partner, would chat amicably to the young Guide whenever the opportunity arose. 

And one of the nicest aspects of his new status within the bullpen was that he was well aware that he was being monitored closely by Jim Ellison. 

True to his word to Simon, Jim refrained from interacting with Blair, because it was inappropriate for an unbonded Sentinel to approach a bonded Guide. He also did a pretty good job of maintaining a reasonably civil manner when circumstance dictated that he had to deal with Montgomery. But that didn’t prevent him from scanning Blair with his senses whenever he could, and he was forced to admit to himself that even from a distance, the scent and voice of the young Guide soothed and grounded him far more than he would ever have believed. 

Which made it all the more painful to consider that if Blair had been his, he was certain that they would have made a pairing to be reckoned with. 

However, Fate had dictated otherwise, so he just had to suck it up and do the best he could for both of them.  


\-------------------------  


Blair’s situation at Leroy’s apartment had also taken a turn for the better. Although Leroy didn’t go out of his way to actively encourage Blair to feel more at home, he didn’t ignore the young man as completely as he had previously, and to his surprise, actually found that his Guide was an entertaining conversationalist if encouraged. It never happened if Monica was around, but on occasion the two men actually chatted about things outside of work and ‘Sentinel stuff,’ and Leroy had to admit he could really grow quite fond of Blair given time. 

As for Monica, although she still didn’t like having a Guide around, and seemed to have a particular dislike for Blair himself, she had been well and truly frightened by Sarah’s threats, so at least kept her bitchy comments to a minimum, and modified her attitude a little, especially when there was a chance that Blair might have a visitor. 

Because that was one of the real improvements as far as Blair was concerned. Sarah Madison had taken to dropping in for impromptu visits, sometimes bringing a colleague or two with her. She made it very plain that, although she was doing it as part of her outreach duty to make sure that Blair was OK, she also enjoyed his company, as did her friends from the hospice, so it was no chore to come and see him. And although Leroy hated it, there was nothing he could do about it, knowing that Sarah would have no qualms about reporting back to her Director if she thought Leroy was back-sliding again. 

He had been particularly annoyed on the occasion when Sarah and a friend dropped by unexpectedly and announced that they were taking Blair shopping. She had seen how little Blair seemed to own, and noted his few items of clothing, so she insisted they go and draw some of his accumulated stipend out of the bank to do some ‘retail therapy’. And Blair had loved every minute. 

Although he knew that to most people, a shopping trip hardly figured as the highlight of the week – or month, for that matter – for the lonely Guide, an afternoon in the company of two cheerful and honestly caring friends was a real treat. 

And not only that, but Sarah had begun to take him out on other occasions, simply doing everyday fun things like a visit to the museum or a picnic in the park. 

There was no romantic involvement at all, as Sarah already had a steady relationship with one of the other carers at the hospice. They were just good friends who enjoyed each other’s company. Blair liked Sarah’s partner, who sometimes accompanied them. Gerry, short for Geraldine, was a slightly plump, sweet-natured and cheerful brunette who worshipped her sensitive partner, and Blair delighted in seeing them together. He was more than grateful to be included in their affection, and considered that he was luckier than he would ever have expected to be again.  


\------------------------  


Unfortunately, there was a potentially dangerous down-side to this new level of reluctantly granted tolerance, and as time went on, Jim and his fellow cops began to notice – and consequently become concerned with – Leroy’s reaction to it. 

Montgomery had begun to take risks. Unnecessary ones during cases where a more circumspect approach would have been equally, if not more effective. The fact remained that his determination to outdo everyone in the department, particularly Jim Ellison, meant that he was prepared to go to extreme lengths to prove himself. And he honestly believed that his own talent and status as a bonded Alpha somehow made him well-nigh invulnerable, even though Blair tried to warn him that he was no Superman, however gifted. 

And because he was so grateful for the upturn in his everyday existence, Blair stiffened his resolve and backed his Sentinel up each and every time.  


\--------------------------  


The threat of a potential disaster in the making was exacerbated when several of the MCU personnel were drafted to work with the Vice Unit in attempting to pull off a raid against a particularly violent and expanding gang of drug dealers, one or two members of which were purported to be refugees from the inter-departmental Seattle bust Jim had worked on previously. 

Because of the possibility that he would be recognised, Jim couldn’t go undercover this time, much to his disgust, although he acknowledged the reasoning behind the decision. But he made no bones about Montgomery’s overt bullishness where the operation planning was concerned. 

Speaking privately to Simon over a couple of beers in Barney’s Bar two days before the take-down was due to happen, he aired his concerns. “Look, Simon, I know this might sound like sour grapes, but I hope you know me better than that. I realise I can’t be the one to approach Malloy when we go to the meet, because he might have those Seattle sleazebags in his train. But I’ve got a really bad feeling about allowing Montgomery to do the business. 

“As far as I’m concerned, his successes to date have been in spite of his behaviour rather than reflecting his actual ability. I admit, he’s a damned good investigator, but he’s driven by his ambition to outdo me. If it was just a pissing contest between the two of us, I could deal. But Blair’s caught up in this too. And if Montgomery keeps up his cavalier act, it could well be Blair who gets hurt. Seriously, Simon, I’m worried for the kid.” 

“Yeah, I hear you, Jim,” Simon replied, concern etched in deep lines across his brow. “I feel the same way every time I see that pair go into action. But whether we like it or not, Montgomery has had some notable results, and that’s all that counts as far as the brass is concerned. And so far, young Sandburg’s done well by his Sentinel.” 

“You say that, Simon, but when I’m around to check him out after their escapades, I can tell you that that kid’s scared silly. He’s just learned to act well, and he’s way too loyal to leave his Sentinel in the lurch, even if the bastard deserves it. And I just have a really bad feeling about this attempted bust. Call it gut instinct, or sentinel ‘spidey’ senses, but I’m sure something’s not right”. 

“OK, Jim. I know you too well to doubt your sincerity, so here’s how we’ll play it. Montgomery can go in as planned, but I want Blair to stay back with you. I know Leroy’ll hate it, but this time, I’m not risking Sandburg’s life unnecessarily. He can do his ‘Guide’ thing from a distance can’t he?” 

“Yeah, he’s certainly strong enough and so’s Montgomery. Just as long as Leroy keeps his mind on the job and not on what I might be getting up to with his Guide out of his reach. Come to think of it, it’s probably better if Blair stays with Megan and Joel, so there’s less reason for Sentinel antagonism to distract Leroy’s concentration. I’ll still be there as Montgomery’s sense backup, but from another location.” 

“Fair enough, Jim. Makes sense – no pun intended,” and Simon grinned tiredly as he ran his hand over his face. “Got to say, Jim, this Sentinel stuff’s giving me more than a few headaches. And grey hairs!” and he chuckled grimly at his own poor joke. 

“Just wish you’d managed to find your Guide, Jim. If you’d already been bonded, this situation wouldn’t have arisen. No department head expects to have to deal with two bonded pairs. The brass thinks that that would be way too greedy! Share the bounty, you know?” 

Candidly meeting his friend’s gaze, Jim made his decision. “Well, about that, Simon. It’s about time I came clean, and I only hope it doesn’t make things even more complicated for you although I suspect the reverse is true. 

“You know I’ve always said I never wanted a Guide, and that was true. Couldn’t see the need, and frankly wasn’t minded to go to the trouble. But I’m sure now that that was only because I never met the right one. Sure, plenty of Sentinels and Guides make do quite happily with randomly-chosen or even temporary partners, but that wouldn’t have worked for me. Thing is, I’m as certain as I can be that Blair is my genetic match. He calls to me on every level, and it’s been hell trying to hold off all the time from responding. But for good or ill, it can’t happen now. Because he’s bonded, and he’s stuck with it. 

“And so am I. So there you have it, Simon. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, but I thought I could deal with it. And now it seems I can’t. If things go on as they are, I’m going to end up killing that thoughtless bastard, and that’ll hurt both of them. So perhaps it really is time for me to leave, Simon. Because it’s not fair for you to have to choose between us.” 

“Well shit, Jim! You really choose your moments to sucker-punch me! I appreciate your honesty, my friend, but I truly wish for all our sakes that you’re mistaken. But I know you’re not, and I also realise that it’s much worse for you than for me. God, Jim, knowing what I know now, I can’t begin to imagine how much self-control you’ve had to exercise every day. But you’re right. It can’t go on, for your sake as much as for Sandburg’s. 

“Look, let’s get this operation over with, then talk some more, OK? I’m not saying we can fix things completely, but perhaps there’s a way to make it work if we’re all on the same page. Because I don’t want to lose you, Jim. You’re much more to me than just one of my detectives, and God knows I care about each and every one of them, even Leroy Montgomery!” 

Jim smiled appreciatively as he responded, “Thanks, Simon. And I’m truly sorry for dumping this on you now. Yeah, we’ll talk again after this op, but meanwhile, another beer?” and he quirked an eyebrow as his grin widened slightly. 

“Yeah, why not? I think I deserve it...!” and the two shared a rueful chuckle, friendship intact despite their problems.  


\---------------------  


**Two days later, Cascade Docks:**  


Three men sauntered casually towards the open door of a disused warehouse, their nonchalant demeanour belied by the wary glances and alert expressions hidden behind wraparound shades. 

The leading figure was tall and elegant beneath his well-cut topcoat; and a suggestion of arrogance in his stride and bearing marked him out as the head honcho in a deliberately-staged power-play. 

Leroy Montgomery was playing the role for all he was worth, backed up by Buzz McIntyre and Steve Kowalski; two of the Vice cops who had been involved in the preliminary stages of the investigation and who had considerable familiarity with the gang with whom they were attempting to make a deal. Although McIntyre and Kowalski had wires, Leroy was getting his information direct via his Guide, who was relaying everything to him in the softest of whispers from his position some distance away. The system was working well, except for one thing. Leroy was still coldly furious that he hadn’t got Blair at his side this time, even if deep down he acknowledged the logic behind the decision. 

When Simon Banks had informed him in no uncertain terms that Blair would be staying out of the line of fire with Connor and Taggart, Leroy had protested vociferously. As Sandburg’s Sentinel, it was his right to expect his Guide to accompany him any time he needed him. However, on this occasion, Banks wasn’t to be denied, and what was worse, everyone else involved in the operation agreed with him, including that bastard Ellison. Leroy supposed that it could have been worse. Banks might have intended to place Blair in Ellison’s location, but realistically that would never have been allowed to happen. Oh no, Ellison wasn’t getting his hands on Sandburg, unless it was over Leroy’s dead body! 

Reining in his straying thoughts with an effort, Montgomery concentrated on what he was hearing, whilst keeping his eyes open for any furtive activity in the vicinity of the warehouse. 

He knew that Connor, Taggart and Blair were situated in an old panel van parked a block away from the warehouse, and that Ellison was on the roof of a neighbouring warehouse. Other units had been strategically placed to cover any escape routes and provide backup if there was a problem with the hand-over, and all three of the detectives knew that their targets’ approach was being strictly monitored. 

Sure enough, as they reached the warehouse door, Blair whispered, “Malloy’s on his way, Leroy. There’s a black limo just pulling round the corner of 3rd and Business. They’ll be in sight within minutes. Two other occupants apart from the driver and bodyguard. Jim says one of them is Malloy’s money man. The other is possibly his chemist. You’ll know already that there are four other gang members inside. Be careful, man!” and the quiet voice ceased, leaving Leroy feeling surprisingly bereft. Glancing at his companions, he received two tiny nods, confirming that they had also received the information via their wires. 

As the limo rounded the side of the warehouse and slid smoothly to a halt, the warehouse doors were pushed open from the inside by one man, and the three detectives quickly noted that a small table had been set up just inside the building, guarded by three more very well-armed and tough-looking gangsters. 

So far, everything was going according to their agreement with Malloy. 

Turning smoothly back towards the limo, Leroy nodded to the man who emerged from the rear of the car to be immediately flanked by the driver and bodyguard, his demeanour coldly polite. 

“Mr Malloy. Good to meet you at last. Bradley here has the money. Shall we check the merchandise?” 

Bernie Malloy was a stocky, hard-eyed Irishman with a pock-marked face, who had deliberately cultivated the appearance and reputation of the sort of crime lord who wouldn’t have looked out of place in Chicago’s Prohibition years. Ambitious, greedy, and clever, he had stood up to, and so far either defeated or assimilated rival gangs, whether in the business of gambling, gun-running or prostitution, and now he wanted to make the break-through into big-time drugs. 

Nodding brusquely in response to Leroy’s greeting, he signalled to the other two occupants of the limo’s back seat, who quickly did as they were bid and joined the group. One was indeed Malloy’s ‘money man’ as Jim had reported, and the other was familiar to McIntyre at least as Malloy’s newly-appointed chemist. 

“Mr Beresford. Come on in, and your man can check the goods. I think you’ll be well satisfied. I don’t employ incompetents,” and Malloy glanced at his companion, who smirked a little in smug self-satisfaction. 

The group entered the building, and approached the table, where a sample of the product had been placed. As the appointed ‘tester’, Kowalski went through the motions, and at his nod of approval, Leroy signalled McIntyre to present the case full of money. As the watching and listening cops prepared to move in and catch Malloy and his men red-handed, Jim suddenly murmured from his vantage point, “Wait up, Captain! There’s a boat approaching the dock at the rear of the warehouse, coming up fast. There’re at least five guys, all heavily armed. It’s cutting its engine – silent approach. Drifting in now. It’s gotta be a trap!” 

His words carried to all concerned, either via wire or in Leroy’s case, as plainly as if Jim had spoken directly into his ear, so attuned was he to the other Sentinel’s presence. He also heard Blair’s distressed whisper, “Oh, gods! Be careful, Leroy! Please don’t do anything to set them off...!” 

Things happened very quickly then. Banks’ immediate order to go in coincided with the boat pulling up close enough for the occupants to leap out and burst in through the rear of the warehouse, guns at the ready. As the waiting cops rushed the front, inside there was mayhem as Malloy’s men turned on the undercover cops, and all three had the sick feeling that they were never meant to walk out of the meeting alive. 

However, the frontal attack distracted the goons long enough for the three to dive for cover, trying to get behind a rusting tractor unit until their own backup arrived. 

The ensuing fire fight was short but violent, one of the first casualties being Malloy himself, which knocked the stuffing out of most of his men. Unfortunately, at least two were prepared to go down fighting, and Leroy saw his chance for glory. 

Pulling his concealed weapon from the holster at his ankle, he slid out from behind his cover, and put a bullet into the nearest thug with pinpoint accuracy. The second went down just as fast, and it looked like the excitement was over. However, it was the unexpected reaction of Malloy’s chemist who caught them all out. The mousy little man crawled out from beneath the table where he had taken shelter, and picked up a discarded pistol in his shaking hand, not really sure what he was going to do with it. Standing up, his trembling finger squeezed off a shot which ricocheted off the truck and hit Leroy in the head, killing him instantly. 

Dropping the gun in horror, the man was quickly subdued, and as McIntyre bent over Leroy to check his injury, the rest of the team made short work of rounding up and cuffing the surviving gang members.   


\-----------------------  


While the short battle was going on within the warehouse, Jim had dropped down from his vantage point, and run around the back of the warehouse to take out the boat’s captain and one remaining crew member in order to cut off the gangs’ escape route. Swiftly overpowering the crewman standing on the jetty holding the boat’s mooring line, he had just cuffed the guy, when he heard a heart-broken scream, and he knew with a jolt of sickening clarity exactly what had happened. 

Montgomery was dead, and his Guide was suffering from the agony resulting from a violently broken bond. 

However, before he could respond to the Guide’s distress, he first had to take care of the boat’s captain, who never stood a chance against the furiously focussed Sentinel. 

Leaving his prisoners cuffed securely to a handrail, Jim sprinted towards the source of the scream, instinctively needing to get to the hurting Guide to offer shielding and comfort as only another Sentinel could do. However, as he reached the parked panel van, he saw that a medic had already arrived, and the sudden silence within told him that Blair had been dosed with the dampening medication designed to sedate traumatised Guides. 

Jim cursed violently even though he knew that it was SOP to have a specialised medical team available when Sentinel and Guide pairs went on active duty for this very eventuality, but he had hoped to get in before the synthetic dampeners could be administered. 

Pushing his way in anyway, his heart contracted in sympathy for the small, trembling and softly weeping figure huddled in Megan’s arms. 

Turning tearful eyes up to meet Jim’s, Megan whispered, “He’s dead, isn’t he? Sandy was OK one second, and the next he screamed in agony. I’ve never seen anything so heart-breaking, Jimbo. Never!” And a tear trickled down her cheek as she rocked Blair in her arms. 

Mouth tightening for a moment in empathy, Jim nodded unhappily, aware that this wasn’t the time to be offering his mental shielding and support to Blair, although he fully intended to follow up on the young man’s progress once he’d been checked over at the hospital. 

“Yeah, Megan, I’m afraid so. I wasn’t there in the warehouse, but I heard what went down. Montgomery was taken out by a stray shot after the action appeared to be over. I’m going to report back to Simon, but then I want to check on Blair. Tell the medics not to give him any more dampeners until I’ve seen him, OK?” he asked, fixing his colleague with an earnest and pleading expression. “I want to see if I can help him....” 

And he offered a small smile of relief when Megan replied, “You got it, Jimbo. I think he’s going to need you far more than another spell in that hospice.”  


\------------------------  


**Part 3: In Despair:**  


**Cascade General Hospital, ER:**  


Lying on a gurney in an examination cubicle, Blair gradually surfaced, slowly shaking off the remnants of the dampening medication. Whimpering softly, he tried to recall the events of the last few hours, but gave up as tears began to track once again down his face. His Sentinel was dead, and he could hardly bear it. Daring to open one eye slightly, despite the terrible build-up of pain in his head from outside emotions beginning to slip through his tattered barriers, he realised that he was alone. Again. 

Sobbing quietly in distress, he wondered what he had done to deserve this agony, not once, but twice over. He must surely have been really evil in a past life for his karma to be this bad, and he almost giggled hysterically at the notion. But the fact remained that he was once again looking at a prolonged spell in the hospice unless he did something about it. 

And this time, he knew he had to act for himself. He was a useless Guide, who apparently jinxed any Sentinel who was foolish enough to bond with him. And he really couldn’t face a future on permanent medication, drifting forever in a half-life filled with hopeless dreams and broken promises. 

It was time. Naomi would never forgive him, but it was his decision. 

Slipping off the gurney, he swayed unsteadily for a few moments before regaining some sort of equilibrium, then carefully peered around the edge of the curtain surrounding the cubicle. Seeing that the coast was clear, he headed as quickly as he could for the exit, keeping his head down and concentrating hard on trying to fight off the ever-increasing pain threatening to make his head explode. Somehow making it to the bus stop outside the hospital, he felt around in his pocket for a few stray dollars, and using every bit of the remaining willpower he possessed, bought a ticket for his final destination.  


\-----------------  


Shortly after the bus departed, Jim barrelled through the hospital doors and barged his way through to the ER, where a scene of quietly-conducted but obvious turmoil met his gaze. Latching on to Megan’s anxious look, he strode over to where she stood, registering her words with astounded disbelief as she started straight in. “Oh shit, Jimbo! Sandy’s gone! Disappeared, and all because these bloody medical drongos wouldn’t allow me to stay with him!” 

Grabbing her arm, he towed her across to a more private corner and demanded a full explanation, which she gladly provided. “I’m so sorry, Jim. I travelled with Sandy to ER, and stayed with him all the time, I swear! I even told them that you had asked for them not to dose him again with dampeners until you’d been to see him. 

“Then _that_ stupid bugger of an intern over-rode my requests and said I didn’t have the authority to dictate Sandy’s treatment!” and she nodded towards an officious-looking man in a white coat who even without the benefit of sentinel vision, was plainly sweating profusely in barely-controlled panic. 

“God, Jim, if you’d managed to get here even 20 minutes earlier, you could have sorted the pompous bastard out, but he wasn’t having it. And while he was occupying all our attention with his histrionics, Sandy must have snuck out. He must’ve gotten a ride or something, because I couldn’t see him anywhere! I’m so sorry!” and she burst into tears of frustration once again. 

Growling in aggravation, Jim at least had the presence of mind to answer Megan in a reasonably civilised manner. “Shit, Connor! What a mess! But it’s not your fault, it’s mine!” and at her incredulous look, he continued, “I didn’t expect to be so long dealing with the wrap-up, but you know what it’s like. Everyone wants their reports in yesterday! Having said that, once Simon heard about Blair and what I wanted to do, he let me go immediately. But it still looks like I might be too late. Look, Megan, I’m going to go after the kid. I hope I can follow him wherever he’s going, and I’m going to try to get him to come back with me OK? So if anyone wants to know, just tell them that, OK? If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll take Blair back to the hospice, but I hope to god that it doesn’t come to that,” and he stared off into the distance for a second before turning his attention back to the Aussie cop. 

“You got it, Jimbo. And good luck, mate. Please get him back. We love him, and he deserves some happiness...” and she pushed him away, the anxiety in her eyes spurring him on, even if he didn’t need the extra encouragement. 

Exiting the building, Jim took a moment to centre himself, then sought out the scent of the fugitive Guide. 

He acknowledged the bitter irony in that, if he had been bonded, the task would have been so much easier, but tamped down the resultant unhelpful anger and concentrated instead on trying to track the elusive trail without zoning out. 

After a moment or two, he detected the faintest whiff of the enticing aroma, even though he recognised grimly that it was soured with pain and despair. It seemed to lead off towards the bus stands close by, so he ran for his jeep and set off, windows wound down in order to make the most of the tantalising hints of fleeting fragrance, all the while knowing instinctively that he had precious little time to get to his Guide. 

Because that was what he truly believed. Despite his terrible trials and tribulations, Blair was now Jim’s responsibility to care for and protect. Should _always_ have been his. And Jim knew to the depths of his soul that it was up to him to make it right or exist forever after in a world of unrealised happiness and wasted potential. 

But first he had to find the Guide, and find him in time.  


\---------------------  


Shortly after Jim set off, Blair arrived at his intended destination. Walking unsteadily the last few hundred yards from where the bus dropped him off, he made his painful way to a secluded beach not too far north of the dockland area where Leroy had met his untimely death. 

Blair knew that the tide in this scruffy and litter-strewn inlet was renowned for its dangerous speed and height, hence the warning signs posted all along the approach. 

But he welcomed the information, knowing that it was exactly what he needed. 

He sat for a moment on the dirty sand, shivering slightly in the chill breeze, as he made his peace with himself and the world. Silently apologising to Naomi, and asking her forgiveness, he stood and began to strip off his clothing, ignoring the cold and concentrating on the short walk to the sea’s edge, intending to wade right in and keep on going until his pain was no more; washed away in the ocean’s emotionless and unchanging patterns. 

And was stopped in his tracks by powerful arms wrapping around him from behind, and a worried but compelling voice appealing to his very soul. 

“Don’t do it, baby! You don’t have to do this! I’ve got you, and I promise I’ll never let you go, Blair. Just please give me a chance to prove it!” and Blair found himself turned around and engulfed in a warm and comforting hug, the like of which he’d never known before, even from Naomi. Having reached the very limits of his endurance, he surrendered himself to the alluring temptation, and passed out.  


\-----------------------  


**Shortly after, the loft, 852 Prospect:**  


Jim sank down opposite the small figure bundled up and deeply asleep on his sofa, finally allowing himself the time to consider and evaluate the events of the past couple of hours. Leaning forward in his seat, hands loosely clasped and elbows resting on his knees, he carefully scanned the motionless figure, pleased to see that the deep stress lines had smoothed from the pale face, leaving it incredibly youthful, and painfully vulnerable-looking. Blair’s overall physical condition wasn’t too bad, and his vital signs seemed normal to sentinel senses, but the soft growling of his tummy told Jim that it had been a while since his last decent meal. 

Scrubbing his face with his hands, Jim stretched his neck and rotated his shoulders, rolling his head around from side to side to ease the tension that had held him in its grip for too long. Sitting forward again, he basked in the comfort of being able to use his senses so much more easily now with Blair in close proximity, even more so since he had at last been able to touch and hold the young man in his arms, partially imprinting him as he carried his precious bundle first to his car then up here to his territory. 

And if Blair was willing to take a chance on him, Jim hoped that a full bond could be achieved, after which he was certain that he would be able to use his senses to the max, knowing that his Guide was at his back. And Blair would never again go unshielded for as long as Jim lived. Or unloved. 

But he was grimly aware that Blair had a lot of healing to do before then, and promised himself that he would give the young man all the time he needed. 

Leaning back comfortably in his chair now, although still fully alert as he watched over the Guide, Jim considered everything he had learned so far about Blair Sandburg. 

Even though over the short time he’d known the young man he’d been forced by Sentinel and Guide protocol to keep his distance, Jim had made a point of finding out everything he could about him, especially after the bullpen incident when Simon had told him about Blair’s first Sentinel. It hurt Jim deeply to learn of the ex grad student’s past life, and what he had lost when that bitch Barnes had abducted him. It was hardly surprising that Blair had never to his knowledge spoken of his academic life and achievements to anyone, because surely the recounting of such happy times would only lead to sadness and hopeless longing. 

As far as Jim was concerned, the fact that Blair had already received his Masters at barely twenty one, and had been about to commence his doctoral programme was proof positive of his genius. And also of his extreme youth, since he was still only just twenty four now, despite having spent a traumatic eighteen months with Barnes, a spell in the Guide Hospice, followed by another few months bonded to Montgomery. 

So much cruelty and hardship in such a short space of time. No wonder the kid had been contemplating taking his own life. And Jim knew he had his work cut out to convince Blair that he was wanted and needed for himself, not just for his guiding ability. But he was going to try, and he was certain that he would succeed. 

The alternative wasn’t to be tolerated.  


\-----------------------  


It was the early hours of the following morning before the exhausted Guide finally began to rouse, waking Jim instantly from where he had been dozing in the chair all night, loath to leave Blair to wake up alone in strange surroundings. As expected, Blair jerked fully awake with a start, plainly disorientated, and not a little frightened. 

Although he wanted to do nothing more than gather up the shaking body and cradle Blair in his arms, Jim knew that it was too soon, and that a more restrained approach would be better until Blair had gotten over his initial shock. Keeping his voice kind and gentle, he said, “Hey, kiddo, you slept well. How do you feel? Is your head still troubling you?” and he smiled reassuringly as Blair’s frightened eyes met and locked with his. 

Open-mouthed with astonishment at his situation, Blair blinked a few times, his gaze flicking around nervously while he tried to pull himself together enough to answer the Sentinel, because his conditioning demanded that he do no less. “Uh, yes, I think so, Sentinel Ellison. I...I...I mean, yes, my head feels much better. Thank you for shielding me, sir. Your shields are very strong...” and he tailed off, blushing slightly at his presumption in thinking that Jim Ellison wanted or needed his opinion. 

Jim, however, was delighted at the unsolicited comment, and grinned appreciatively, but he knew only too well that reality was about to crash down on the young man as he recalled the events of the last twenty four hours. 

He wasn’t wrong, and a few seconds later Blair’s face crumpled in despair as tears began to stream down his cheeks, the full impact of Leroy’s death and what he assumed it would mean to him hitting him all at once. 

This time, Jim didn’t hold back, and reached for the sobbing Guide, pulling the too-thin body onto his lap and holding him close as he cried out his fear and sorrow on behalf of his dead Sentinel. Rocking and shushing Blair like a child, Jim did his best to send sympathetic and caring thoughts to the Guide, already feeling the first tentative stirrings of a mutual link, and hoping against hope that it was the precursor to the real thing. 

As for Blair, his traumatised mind reached out gratefully for the offered love and support even as he physically clung to the powerful but gentle man holding him so tenderly, unable as yet to think beyond the present, and content to rest for a precious few minutes just where he was. 

Eventually, however, the flood of tears abated, and Blair quieted, shy and embarrassed now at his outburst, and fully expecting Ellison to push him away in disgust. And was taken completely by surprise when Jim simply sat him up a little straighter in his lap so Blair could mop his face with a handful of offered tissues, but otherwise making no move to relinquish his armful of puzzled but grateful Guide. 

“Thank you, Sentinel Ellison,” he whispered shyly, peeking up into the bigger man’s softly smiling face from beneath damp lashes. “I really appreciate your support, sir. It’s very good of you, and I feel much better now. But shouldn’t I be at the hospice? I mean, I didn’t really want to go back, which is why I went to the beach,” he confessed softly, ducking his head in shame at the admission, “but surely you won’t want me here? This is your home, isn’t it?” 

“Well, first off, Junior, you’re very welcome, because there’s nothing I want more than to protect and shield you. And I won’t take you back to the hospice unless you ask me to. But there’s a lot I want to discuss with you, and soon, but not right now, babe. You need something to eat, a hot shower, and the chance to relax a little before we get into serious conversation. And you need the time to come to terms with all that’s happened to you. 

“So how about I show you where the bathroom is, and I’ll try to dig out some clean clothes that won’t smother you. And while you’re freshening up, I’ll prepare breakfast. Eggs and toast do you?” 

And Blair, wide-eyed and totally overawed, simply nodded wordlessly and allowed himself to be helped to his feet and steered towards the bathroom, revelling in the warmth of the large hand resting possessively in the small of his back.  


\----------------------  


As Jim pottered around the kitchen preparing the simple breakfast, he kept his senses tuned into Blair, quietly gratified to find that their acuity seemed to be increasing all the time in the young Guide’s presence. Such an instinctive response convinced Jim that he was correct in his belief that they were indeed a genetic match, and his heart swelled with an unaccustomed fondness for Blair, knowing that it was on account of Blair-the-man as much as for Blair-the-Guide. At the same time, he was well aware that it was going to take all of his powers of persuasion to convince Blair of that, since the Guide had only ever experienced part of what a bonded pair should be to each other, and not the best part at that. 

As Blair emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, he tamped down on his negative thoughts and concentrated on admiring the clean but rumpled figure approaching him nervously, nibbling his lower lip as he gauged Jim’s reaction. 

In truth, Jim thought Blair looked positively edible. 

Blair was dressed in the mismatched set of clothes which Jim had dug out for him. While Blair was showering, Jim located a pair of smallish boxers, a tee, a pair of sweatpants that had shrunk in the wash, and a warm sweatshirt. On Blair’s feet was a pair of Jim’s thickest and warmest socks. His own clothes, which Jim had gathered up from where they had been discarded on the beach, were now in the laundry basket, apart from Blair’s underwear. Jim had dressed him in his boxers and tee last night so that he wouldn’t be upset waking up to find himself completely naked in a strange location. 

Jim couldn’t help the tiny smirk that twisted his lips as he beheld the small figure. The clean tee and sweatshirt were huge on Blair’s too-thin frame, hanging almost to mid thigh and sleeves pushed up above his elbows. The sweatpants still had to be rolled up a couple times at the cuffs, but held up well enough with the drawstring pulled tight. Blair had towelled his hair and left it to dry naturally, and shining curls already haloed his freshly-shaven face. 

All in all he was the most breathtakingly beautiful person Jim had ever seen. 

Smile widening in appreciation, Jim pointed to a chair and said, “Well, Chief, I’ve got to say you scrub up really nicely, but we have to get you some clothes that actually fit!” However, he kept his tone light and kind, so unlike what Blair had become accustomed to hearing when directed at him. Consequently, Blair found to his surprise that he was relaxing minutely under Jim’s attention, and offered a tentative grin in response. 

Overjoyed at this small indication of Blair’s resilience, Jim placed a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of the smaller man saying, “Eat up, Chief! You need a bit more meat on your bones. But don’t overdo it and force it down just for my sake. Coffee and OJ?” 

And Blair nodded and smiled gratefully, and with only the tiniest hesitation, began to eat. 

Jim kept any conversation light and inconsequential as he watched Blair tuck in to his meal, feeling a certain amount of self-satisfaction with his achievement so far. This ‘nurturing–the-Guide’ thing was actually very therapeutic for both Sentinel and Guide, and seemed to be coming far more easily to him than he would ever had believed, his rep as ‘Hard-ass Ellison’ notwithstanding. 

Although still plainly distressed, Blair was making a brave attempt to comply with what was asked of him and certainly seemed to be relaxing incrementally in Jim’s presence. Certainly his touch and affection-starved soul was greedily soaking up the comforting vibes, and he treasured each moment he was granted. 

Once the meal was over and cleanup done, Jim steered Blair over to the sofa and gently seated the smaller man with a fresh refill of coffee before settling himself down opposite. However, he immediately discerned the increase in Blair’s anxiety level as he anticipated the upcoming discussion, and the knowledge saddened him. 

Wanting to put the Guide’s mind at ease, Jim deliberately calmed and centred himself, incidentally amazed at a capacity for patience and empathy he hadn’t known he possessed. Expression and tone reassuring, he smiled into the wide blue gaze fixed nervously and intently on his face and began. 

“While you were sleeping, I called Simon and explained what I wanted to do now I’d found you. You’d be surprised how many people were worried for you when you sneaked out of the hospital, you know,” and he realised with a pang that he shouldn’t be surprised when Blair took his words as a criticism despite his gentle tone, and lowered his gaze, heart rate increasing as he fought against incipient tears again. 

“Hey, babe, no, that wasn’t meant to scold, although I sincerely hope you won’t ever do anything like that again. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone, kiddo, and more people than you probably imagine actually care about you and want to protect you,” and he reached over and squeezed Blair’s knee comfortingly, waiting until the smaller man looked up to meet his gaze again. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to cause any more trouble,” Blair murmured apologetically. “I thought that it was for the best if I wasn’t around to mess things up for everyone any longer...” 

“Well, first, Chief, can you stop with the ‘Sir’ stuff? I haven’t been knighted, and I’d much prefer that you call me Jim,” and Jim grinned and held Blair’s gaze until the younger man responded by loosening up slightly again, and actually offered a brief smile in response. 

“That’s better! Anyway, as I was saying, Simon was quite happy for me to let you stay here and keep an eye on you as long as it was OK with you. Believe me when I say I’ll never hold you against your will, but I’m hoping you’ll agree to stay here, at least until you feel ready to decide what you want to do. I’ll shield you for as long as you need so you won’t have to resort to medication, and maybe in time you’ll consider bonding with me. I won’t lie to you, Blair. It’s something I really want, but only if the feeling’s mutual, I swear. Now, don’t panic, because I won’t pressure you. Ever. It’s too soon anyway, I know, and you have a lot to consider. But at least let me give you a chance to recover, OK?” 

He paused for a moment to study Blair’s reactions to his words, and felt a cautious optimism when the Guide didn’t run screaming from the building, but really seemed to be considering their content. His eyes were still wide and his expression reminiscent of a ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ but after a few moments he swallowed audibly and responded, voice soft but fairly steady. 

“I don’t know what to say! I...I mean, I never expected anything like this, sir, er...Jim. It’s so good of you, but I don’t think I deserve it. I’m just so mixed up. You must think I’m a head-case. I think I’m a head-case! But I feel so much better with you,” he continued even more softly. “It would be wonderful to stay here for a bit if it really isn’t too much trouble. I feel safe...”and Jim was totally overwhelmed by the gratitude and longing in the Guide’s eyes as Blair’s shy confession touched his soul. 

“Then that’s what we’ll do, babe,” Jim replied warmly, relief colouring his tone. “You can stay here, and we’ll play it by ear while you get yourself together a bit. I should mention that I contacted Director Bradshaw at the Guide Hospice also, and he gave me his conditional approval, provided that he was convinced of your unforced agreement. I think he’ll want your friend Sarah to drop by to check up on you, and I’m good with that. She’ll be welcome any time, because I understand she’s been good to you, and that makes her good people with me also. 

“So, what would you like to do? Do you feel ready to talk, because I’m thinking you haven’t had the chance to really unload for a good long while, and I’m also thinking it might be cathartic for you? Because if that sounds good to you, we’ll make a fresh pot of coffee, get comfortable, and just hang out for a bit, OK?” 

And Blair smiled softly, eyes a little teary again, but filled with cautious hope as he whispered, “Yes, Jim. Yes, I’d really like that....”  


\--------------------  


**Part 4: A Dawning Hope:**  


**The loft, that evening:**  


Jim looked down at the curly head resting heavily against his shoulder and grinned in contentment. Blair had finally run out of words – and energy – and had succumbed to sleep, apparently comfortable to lean into Jim’s willing embrace. 

The day had been both exhausting and enlightening, even though they had barely moved from the sofa, and Jim knew he had much to digest, as did the young man resting at last in his arms.  


\--------------------  


Under Jim’s gentle prompting, Blair had gradually opened up, his enthusiasm and words gathering momentum as he sensed Jim’s genuine interest. For so long he had felt unable to express himself and speak freely, and the opportunity to do so was truly liberating. 

Shy at first, he began to tell Jim about his early life travelling the world with his evergreen hippy Mom, his anecdotes entertaining although Jim soon realised that he actually revealed very few facts about himself. And Jim was also aware that there was plenty he didn’t mention, and was certain that Blair’s childhood had really been far from the idyll that the young man implied. 

On the other hand, his enthusiasm for his academic life was genuine, and he happily recounted his years at Rainier, impressing Jim with his maturity and breadth of knowledge particularly in his chosen field of Anthropology. His animation only dimmed somewhat when he spoke of his Master’s topic and what he had hoped to achieve by studying Sentinel lore. 

Not wanting to upset Blair unnecessarily, but genuinely wanting to know, Jim questioned him gently, saying, “So, you didn’t know about your Guide potential then, kiddo, before you started at Rainier?” 

A slight flush of embarrassment coloured Blair’s pale face as he replied, “Um, no, Jim. I had no idea. See, Naomi kept us on the move, so I didn’t get much formal education. And she always made certain that I didn’t get tested, although I didn’t realise it at the time. I think she thought she was protecting me from ‘the System!’ 

“Goddess, I wish I’d known,” he murmured, almost to himself. “I would have known what to expect, and I could have gotten onto the database – gotten some training. I didn’t really understand what it meant when I finally found out what I was, so I didn’t really take any precautions to protect myself. And I wouldn’t have been so naive and unsuspecting when Alex picked me up. She must have sensed I was a latent, and she made sure I couldn’t resist...” and he tailed off, lost in bitter memories until Jim coaxed him back to the present. 

“It’s OK, babe, I don’t need to know the details. I’m just glad the bitch is non-functioning now, and that you managed to survive her. Just tell me what you’re comfortable with.” 

“Thanks, Jim. You don’t know what it means to me that you care. That you listen without criticising or telling me to shut up. Leroy never really listened...” and he drifted off again for a moment before shaking himself out of it. 

“And I don’t want to talk about Alex yet. Maybe never....” he whispered. 

“Then don’t, kiddo. Just know that I’m here for you when – if – you ever want to talk. Or if you don’t want to talk to me, we can find someone at the Hospice who’s better qualified.” Jim was quick to reassure him, and Blair flashed him a brief, grateful smile. 

“No, Jim. Thank you anyway, but if I need to talk, I’d rather it was with you. I don’t think I can ever tell anyone else about everything that happened to me. The only other person who knows some of what I went through is Sarah. She’s been so good to me.” 

“I’m glad you had someone, Chief. I just wish it’d been me, but I didn’t know about Alex until later, and I had no choice but to avoid you when you were with Montgomery. It nearly killed me to see you with him, and not be able to intervene, but Sentinel and Guide regulations kept me away. But I could never have let him hurt you without butting in, protocol or no.” 

“I never had the chance to thank you for that, Jim. But I was so grateful to you for being there for me; Megan and Joel too. I guess it sounds dumb, but I’m actually glad he hit me. If he hadn’t, I might never have realised what it meant to have someone there for me, protecting me, and not because I was just a possession.” 

His expression darkened again as he paused, needing to talk about his time with Leroy, but knowing that his emotions were volatile, and likely to be so for some time to come. But Jim deserved to know everything, so he stiffened his resolve and continued. 

Meeting Jim’s tolerant and inquisitive gaze, he swallowed hard and said, “It was my fault, you know. Bonding again. I mean, at the Guide Hospice, when Leroy came to see me, I could have said no. Sarah told me there was no pressure, and Director Bradshaw didn’t push me. I should have waited longer, until I was really ready. 

“But Leroy was so kind to me. He was so persuasive, and handsome. And I fell for it. I thought he would care for me, protect me. And I so wanted someone to do that. I believed everything he told me; everything he promised we would be to each other. Everything we would achieve together. But he was only talking about himself. His ambitions, his glory. I found out quickly enough that I was only meant to be a tool as far as he was concerned. I was a useful pet, not even a friend. 

“And I think I really did suspect something from the outset, but couldn’t pin down why I was uneasy. I just thought I was over-reacting because I was still hurting from Alex. It’s almost funny now when I think about our bonding. I was so nervous because Alex and her men friends had raped and hurt me so often that I didn’t know whether I could let Leroy touch me like that. And it turned out that he didn’t want me like that anyway. All he wanted was a platonic bond so he could go on living with his fiancée without bothering about having sex with me. 

“It’s silly really, because I guess I should have been relieved. But I wasn’t. I was devastated. And I felt so stupid and gullible. And Monica hated me on sight. 

“I thought I was destined to live my life in Leroy’s shadow, never to be my own man ever again...” and he paused again, staring down at the floor, the pain of his disappointment heart-breaking for Jim to witness. Then he raised his head and gazed earnestly at Jim as he continued. “I swear I didn’t want him to die, though, Jim. I might not have been anything to him but a working Guide, but he did good work. He could have been a great Sentinel Detective.” 

By this time, Jim had heard enough, and needed to respond with his own observations. But first he wanted to offer some physical comfort to the hurting Guide, and hoped that he wouldn’t be rebuffed. Opening his arms, he encouraged Blair to come closer, and was both overjoyed and relieved when, after a slight hesitation, Blair slid over to sit beside him to be cuddled close. 

After long minutes enjoying mutual comfort and warmth, Jim finally pushed Blair away just enough so he could see the young man’s face and gauge his reactions as he spoke, although he kept an arm around Blair’s shoulders. 

“OK, Blair, my turn now, OK?” and he grinned appreciatively as Blair nodded determinedly despite the return of a hint of uneasiness in the huge blue eyes. 

“First off, Chief, there’s no way bonding with Montgomery was your fault. You were still hurting from a broken bond, which is traumatic enough in itself without all the abuse you suffered at that bitch’s hands. You were medicated to the eyeballs, and hardly in the right frame of mind to make an informed decision under the circumstances. And I’m sure Montgomery was well aware of that, and had no qualms about taking advantage of you. Shit, even I have to admit he could be charming if he tried. And you’re right in that he could have been a great cop, given the right attitude. 

“And if he’d have cherished you as he should, he could have been half of a great Sentinel and Guide partnership. But it was never going to be, however much he wanted it. You weren’t meant for him, baby. He didn’t deserve you. 

“I probably don’t deserve you either, but I sure as hell want you, Blair. I never wanted a Guide, couldn’t understand why I should bother. And I’m definitely happy enough on my own. The other guys in the bullpen will no doubt tell you that, and about my ill-fated attempt at marriage,” and he grinned wryly at Blair’s look of astonishment, his eyebrows climbing towards his hairline as his full lips parted in an ‘O’ of surprise. 

“Yep, lasted all of eighteen months before Carolyn decided we were better as friends than married partners. But despite all that,” he continued, serious again, “I knew as soon as I saw you that there was something different about you. Something special, that called to me. And for the first time I understood what having a genetically matched partner could be like, and what I was missing. And of course, you had already been claimed. Talk about devastated! I wanted to grab you and run there and then. How the hell I kept my cool when Montgomery was getting all territorial over you, I’ll never know. 

“Come to think of it though, I think Simon had lot to do with it. He’s a good captain, and a great friend, and I didn’t want to let him down. Didn’t want to get my marching orders either while I felt I could be of help to you. And do you know how much you helped me, Chief?” and he smiled down at Blair’s perplexed frown. “Even though I couldn’t interact with you at all, just being in fairly close proximity had the most amazing effect on my senses. I mean, I’d always managed to control them OK, as long as I never tried to over-use them, but I found they were sharper and easier to manage the longer I stayed near you. And now, well, can I say I’ve never felt better? 

“And although I’m probably jumping the gun here, Blair, I just want you to know that I think you’re just about the most beautiful Guide I’ve ever laid eyes on. No, correction; definitely the most beautiful. I know you could never be absolutely certain of my sincerity without bonding with me, but I hope you do believe me, babe, and trust that I won’t hurt you.” 

Blair’s face was a picture as open amazement was rapidly replaced on his mobile features by blushing shyness, and Jim was hard pressed not to try for a kiss there and then. But common sense won out, and he restrained himself, not wanting to scare the young man off by acting too hastily. Settling for ruffling the soft curls instead, he tilted his head in the classic listening pose and said, “I think we have a visitor, kiddo, and I believe it’s Megan,” and he rose swiftly and crossed the room to open the door with a flourish as she reached the threshold. 

He was just in time to relieve her of the top one of three large boxes that were balanced precariously in her arms, and she grinned appreciatively. “Thanks, Jimbo. Thought I’d lost the bugger that time. It’s a good job your rattle-trap of an elevator was working today! The two heaviest are still inside. Books, I think. How’s Sandy?” and she marched past Jim into the loft before he even had a chance to answer. 

Putting down the box he held, he hurried over to the elevator to retrieve the other two which quickly joined the ones Megan had already deposited before she flew over to where a bemused Blair still perched on the sofa, and threw her arms around him in a mighty hug. 

“Oh Sandy! I’m so glad to see you’re OK! I was so worried, love, and that stupid bugger of a doctor wouldn’t let me stay with you! But Jim found you, thank heavens.” She pulled back so she could study his face properly. “You _are_ OK, aren’t you? Jim’s shielding you enough?” and she took absolutely no notice of Jim’s irritated huff from behind her. 

Blushing furiously, Blair whispered, “Yes, Megan, I’m OK. Thanks to Jim, I’m feeling much better. And thank you so much for all your support yesterday. I’m just so sorry I worried you when I ran off. I wasn’t thinking straight,” and he hung his head in shame, knowing that he would never willingly tell her the whole truth about what he had intended, because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings any more. 

“Then that’s good, love, and no worries about escaping. Can’t say I blame you under the circumstances. But I’ve got a surprise for you. When Jim called last night and said he’d found you, I went over to Leroy’s apartment and collected your stuff, because I guessed you wouldn’t be going back there. I was just in time, too. That bitch of a fiancée was just about to throw everything in the trash! Nearly had to fight her for it. 

“Funny thing was, she didn’t seem too upset about the fact that her intended was dead. She seemed more concerned with clearing everything of yours out of the place. Weird, huh? But I suppose bereavement hits different people in different ways?” but she didn’t look too convinced as she said it. “Anyhow, I collected all I could find, and here it is. You don’t have much do you?” 

Jim looked on in bemusement, barely able to keep up with the Aussie’s rapid-fire subject changes, but grateful for her obvious care for Blair, and for the shy smile of pleasure that lit Blair’s face. “Thank you so much, Megan. That’s so good of you. And it’s as much as I’ve often had, seeing as Mom and me were always on the move. We had to travel light, you know?” 

Both Jim and Megan looked unconvinced at his explanation, and Jim for one knew that he’d be remedying the situation if Blair consented to live here with him, but neither of them wanted to embarrass Blair with further questions, so they both settled simply for being pleased at his obvious happiness. 

Since Megan had to get back to the PD, she stayed just long enough to give Blair another hug, and to tell him to take care and get back to the bullpen as soon as possible because they all missed him. As Jim walked her to the door, she had whispered, “Is it really going OK, Jimbo?” 

And at his murmured reply, “I hope so, Connor. I really hope so!” she had patted him on the cheek and nodded before striding off down the corridor towards the stairs, forgoing the ancient elevator’s dubious appeal.   


\------------------------  


As night fell, Jim roused himself from his thoughts, and shifted Blair’s head slightly so he could flex his arm a little. As he moved, his eyes lighted on the boxes of Blair’s few possessions that still rested where Megan had set them, and it occurred to him that he had a perfect opportunity to move things along a little more if he handled it right. As subterfuge, it was hardly subtle, but he hoped that in the aftermath of their candid discussion, Blair would understand his offer for what it was. 

Gently shaking the warm body curled into his side, he murmured, “Hey, Chief. Blair? Time you got some proper rest, kiddo.” After more of the same, Blair shifted a little, then raised his head, blinking blearily at Jim and plainly trying to orientate himself. 

“’M up. Wh...what time’s it?” 

“Time all good Guides were in bed, Junior. Come on, and I’ll show you where you can put your things,” Jim answered with a laugh. 

Blair suddenly seemed to realise where he was, and jerked up abruptly, stammering, “I’m sorry, Jim. I didn’t mean to take advantage. Really, um, look, I’ll just...” 

“Whoa, there, Chief! No harm, no foul. You were just worn out from all that soul-searching and dropped off. I didn’t mind at all. But I’ve been thinking, would you like to store your stuff in my spare room? It’s not very big, but it’d make a decent study area for you. Somewhere where you could have a bit of privacy. You could use it as your bedroom if you wanted to?” but Jim was secretly hoping that Blair would take him up on his next suggestion instead. 

“That’s so good of you, Jim. I don’t know what to say...” Blair replied, honestly touched by Jim’s continuing generosity. 

“Well, wait until you see it first, Junior! It’s not the biggest room in the world,” and Jim snickered as he lifted Blair to his feet and led him over to the small space under the stairs, presently separated from the great room by a curtain. 

“As you see, Blair, up ‘til now it’s been used as a storage space, but I’ve got plenty of room in the basement for all this stuff,” and he waved an arm at the boxes and unused gym equipment stuffed within. “The futon’s not too bad as a bed, but I wouldn’t recommend it for long-term use. But I was thinking – hoping – that you might prefer to bunk upstairs with me? My bed’s plenty big enough, so you can relax properly. I promise you nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen, but I’m thinking that we could both use some proximity tonight. You need a friend, babe, and I’d like it to be me.” 

Blair looked dumb-founded for a split second before meeting Jim’s open gaze. Visibly trying to pull his thoughts together, he worried his lower lip for a minute or so while he studied the big man looking down at him with such kindness. Desperately hoping he was doing the right thing, Blair dropped his barriers and ‘read’ Jim, instinctively knowing that it was what the Sentinel wanted. Yes, he knew that in his current state he couldn’t hope to do more than a relatively superficial scan, yet he wanted – needed – to perform the act for both their sakes. 

And found nothing but care and sincerity therein. 

Swallowing hard, and praying that for once he was making the right decision for the right reason, Blair murmured nervously, “Um, yes, please, Jim. If it’s really no trouble for you, I’d like to sleep near you tonight. I promise I’ll try not to keep you awake, or be too restless...” 

Thrilled with the Guide’s response, Jim’s smile widened significantly. “No problem, Junior, and thank you for trusting me. I promise I won’t do anything but hold you and be there for you if bad dreams bother you. Just let me protect you, Blair. It’s all I want to do.” 

And he did. All night long.  


\------------------  


Over the next few days, the two men settled into a comfortable routine, so different than at the start of Blair’s previous partnership, and Blair resolutely refused to even think about the first aberration With Simon’s blessing, Jim sought, and was granted, a few days’ personal leave, which he hoped would eventually become officially classified as bonding leave if things continued as well as they were so far. 

Even though still wary, and prone to rapid mood-swings, Blair gradually became convinced that Jim’s feelings toward him ran far deeper than simple charity or instinctive sentinel protectiveness, and allowed himself to respond in kind, although pure self-preservation demanded that he refrain from committing himself until he was truly ready. 

And the fact remained that he also felt guilty that Jim was getting a raw deal in choosing to help, and hopefully, bond with a Guide so damaged and fragile. But like all Guides, Blair craved touch and tactile comfort as much as empathic understanding; and he found himself reciprocating eagerly whenever the bigger man offered hugs and cuddles, which was frequent, especially in bed. 

And that had been another eye-opener for the anxious young man. Jim was as good as his word, and offered nothing but the comfort and protection of his embrace while Blair slept, willingly holding him through his frequent nightmares, and refraining from doing anything that made Blair uncomfortable. It wasn’t difficult to see that it was getting harder for Jim to control his natural urges, however, and Blair knew that it couldn’t be easy for the other man to resist the temptation of the warm body in his arms. And that made Blair more determined to try and get his act together one way or the other so that Jim wasn’t kept waiting in a sexual limbo any longer than Blair could help. 

Things finally came to a head after a week of such gentle familiarisation, on the day of Leroy Montgomery’s funeral, and it was in no good way.  


\---------------------  


**North Park Cemetery, Cascade, WA:**  


The day of Leroy Montgomery’s funeral dawned dreary, damp and cold as befitting the occasion. As Jim pulled up in the cemetery car park, he turned to study the silent and anxious figure seated in the passenger seat, whose normally enticing scent was soured by sadness and no little fear. Wanting nothing more than to back up and drive home to the sanctuary of the loft, he spoke quietly, needing to reassure the younger man that they didn’t have to attend if it was going to be too much for Blair to cope with. 

“You really OK to go through with this, Chief, because we can always go home and come back later to pay your respects once you’re feeling more secure in yourself. No one would blame you if under the circumstances you feel unable to face everyone yet. After all, you’ve seen nothing but my ugly mug for the last week,” he added, trying for a little humour to lighten the tension. 

Appreciating Jim’s efforts, and grateful for his reassuring presence, Blair shook himself out of his funk and essayed a tiny smile. “Thanks, Jim. But I have to disagree with you about the ‘ugly mug’ crack. I don’t think I ever saw anyone as gorgeous as you, and it still amazes me that you can call me beautiful. I mean, there’s simply no comparison...” and his expression became soft and loving as he met Jim’s gaze. 

“And that’s a good thing,” Jim replied smartly, glad to see a spark of bravado breaking through Blair’s anxious mood. “I don’t think I would be anything like as attracted to you if you were a carbon copy of me. As you know, I’ve never hidden the fact that I like men as well as women, but my previous encounters have been with guys like me; just scratching a mutual itch with no strings attached. You’re something else, babe. Totally desirable in a completely different package. And no, I _don’t_ mean girly!” he added quickly, knowing that Blair was about to question him on that very topic. 

“You’re someone I could – do – love and desire, but I want to cherish you also, and for life. As soon as you’re ready, babe,” and he reached over and cupped Blair’s cheek in a warm palm, unsurprised when a single tear leaked out from the corner of one huge blue eye. 

Reaching up to hold Jim’s hand in place, Blair smiled a little tremulously, but with real pleasure as he whispered, “Thank you again, Jim. You know just what to say to make me feel better, and I promise you I’ll get with the programme as soon as possible. I love you too, but I need to be sure of my own responses, because I don’t want to let you down. I never want to lead you on only to chicken out at the last minute. 

“But for now, I think I feel strong enough as long as you’re beside me, and able to say goodbye to Leroy properly. Let’s go, shall we?” and Jim was filled with admiration for the young man’s courage, even if he could easily discern the slight waver and hint of uncertainty that accompanied Blair’s words. 

Smiling softly, Jim grasped Blair’s hand in his free one and pressed his lips to the palm. “You got it, babe. Let’s get this over with,” and releasing Blair’s hand, he slid out of the driver’s seat and moved around to the passenger door, ready and willing to protect his charge from anyone or anything that threatened.  


\------------------------  


As the pair made their way toward the graveside, they saw many familiar faces from the PD, almost all of whom greeted them cordially, with a special word or two of commiseration for the bereaved Guide. The police turnout was excellent, as always for a fallen comrade, but Jim knew that for many it was a matter of duty and respect rather than a show of genuine regret for the loss of Montgomery. The deceased Sentinel Detective had made little effort to make friends in the department, other than to try to ingratiate himself with his superiors, and there were plenty of cops and administrative staff members who had actively disliked him for his arrogant competitiveness and his cavalier attitude towards Blair. 

On the other hand, the gathering of Leroy’s parents and other relations, including Monica Lewis, made a touching scene, although again Jim cynically wondered if the pathos was real or synthetic. Knowing that Blair would be uncomfortable anywhere near Monica, he wrapped an arm around Blair’s waist and steered him gently but firmly over to the group of MCU personnel, who immediately gathered them both into their midst. 

Joel and Megan both hugged Blair warmly, while H, Rafe and Simon Banks all patted his shoulder or ruffled his hair fondly. Struggling to control his tears, Blair murmured his thanks, grateful for the strong supportive arm around his waist as Jim stood like a rock, anchoring him as he succumbed to the deep emotions elicited by the occasion. 

As the graveside service progressed, Blair found himself able to recall Leroy’s good qualities, because undoubtedly the man had been a force to be reckoned with in several respects. Handsome, talented and intelligent, he could have been so much more if his inherent self-interest hadn’t hamstrung him from the outset, and Blair couldn’t help but ruminate on how much of that might be due to his upbringing. Although he realised deep within himself that in all honesty they should never have bonded, yet he recognised that Leroy could have made some Guide a wonderful Sentinel. But only if he hadn’t been head over heels about Monica. Because however much Blair tried to empathise with the bereaved fiancée, he found it almost impossible in the face of her coldness and egocentric attitude. 

Sighing, he acknowledged that perhaps they had truly deserved one another. And he also knew that he had never stood a chance in the face of so much self-indulgent greed. 

At last, the service wound down, the flag was folded and presented to Leroy’s mother, and family members began to step up to throw handfuls of dirt and flowers into the grave. When the family moved away, followed by the officials present, Blair judged it to be safe and he glanced up at Jim as he murmured, “Can I go up now, Jim? I’d like to have a moment to say goodbye...” 

“Sure, kiddo. I’ll come with you, though. If you don’t mind?” and was gratified to receive Blair’s tremulous but genuine smile. 

“Thanks, Jim. I’d like that,” and he turned to approach the graveside, heart constricting as he stared down at the ornate coffin. 

_Oh, Leroy,_ he thought. _I’m so sorry. I mean, I know you didn’t care for me much, but you didn’t deserve this. You should have achieved so much more..._. However, his focus was abruptly broken by Monica hurrying over to intercept him, closely followed by Montgomery’s parents. 

Ignoring Jim for the moment, she got right up in Blair’s face as she hissed viciously, “What do you think you’re doing here, you little pervert? How dare you present yourself at Leroy’s graveside! You’re nothing but a useless faggot Guide, and you didn’t even have the decency to die with him! Go away, and leave us alone!” 

As Blair back-pedalled in shock, Jim caught him and pushed him firmly behind him as he glared down at the spiteful woman’s face. Leaning down and treating her to his coldest and most intimidating stare, he was peripherally gratified at her instinctive recoil as he snarled, “It’s only the fact that this is neither the time nor the place for it that I don’t knock you down on your ass, lady! You don’t know shit about what Montgomery needed from his Guide; and you sure as shit weren’t a half-decent substitute! So don’t you ever address Guide Sandburg again, OK? Because if you do, there’s a whole queue of folks right behind me who’d just love to explain it to you. Now, be sensible if you can’t be reasonable, and go quietly. Blair will pay his respects, then we’re leaving. We don’t want to impose any more than you want us here, OK?” 

As Simon strode over quickly to interpose himself between the two, Leroy’s mother butted in, stepping around Jim to address Blair head-on as he stood aghast, horrified at the pure hatred directed towards him, battering down and trampling on his hard-won self-confidence. Pointing an accusatory finger at Blair, she shrilled, “You! You ungrateful little slut! I know all about you! Leroy took you in when you were hurt out of the kindness of his heart, and look how you repaid him! If you’d been with him, doing your job, he wouldn’t have died! _You’re_ the one who should be dead!” 

As her husband gathered her in, and Simon pulled Jim away from Monica, Blair spun around, and, unnoticed for a few vital moments, sprinted from the scene, tears of grief and guilt streaming down his face. As he darted around gravestones and down grassy paths, he sobbed in mortification as the horrid words replayed themselves in his cringing mind. 

It was true. He was a useless Guide, and he should have been with Leroy. Should have died with him if that was how it was meant to go down. And instead he had been soaking up love and comfort from Jim instead of paying his dues, leading yet another Sentinel into potential danger simply because they couldn’t resist the pull of his powerful empathic capability. He was a jinx. He should never have let Jim stop him at the beach. Should have done the decent thing.... 

He didn’t hear Megan’s cry of distress that followed his progress, running blindly now as the tears blurred his vision, nor did he see Jim break away from Simon’s hold to sprint after him, leaping wildly over obstacles as he raced to catch the fleeing Guide. Blair had nearly reached the main gates leading to the busy highway beyond when he was tackled to the ground by a furious Sentinel. 

Jim had run faster than he could ever recall, spurred on by fury and terror: fury at Blair’s extreme reaction to the cruel words, and terror that he would do something stupid because of them. Putting on a last burst of speed as Blair reached the exit; he threw himself forwards, grabbing the young man in mid-stride and pulling him down, twisting and rolling to ensure that they landed with Jim’s shoulders and back on the ground, cushioning Blair from the impact. Although winded by the fall, Jim still wrapped his arms tightly around the struggling and squirming body, refusing to let go of the man who had become so precious to him. 

After several moments of fighting, Blair realised he was firmly trapped, and gave up, adrenaline spent and energy gone. Letting his head fall against Jim’s chest, he sobbed brokenly as the big man held him, crooning to him and soothing him with comforting words. Despite the curious onlookers encircling them now, with Megan, Joel and Simon in the fore-front standing guard, Jim kept hold of Blair until the smaller man gradually quieted, his sobs turning to occasional soft hitches, tears finally drying up. 

Judging it safe to stand, Jim allowed Simon to help him up, but not relinquishing his hold on Blair, who was now wilting listlessly in his arms. 

“Take him home, Jim. I’ll call you later, OK?” Simon murmured, voice caring and kind. “And don’t worry about recriminations. Too many people know Blair for a good man to blame you for your outburst. I’ll settle things with the family.” 

Nodding in gratitude for his friend’s support, Jim tucked Blair close against his side, and almost carrying his precious burden, walked towards his jeep, his colleagues’ gentle murmurs of sympathy and concern following in their wake.  


\------------------------  


**The loft, shortly afterwards:**  


Jim carried his unconscious charge into the loft, wryly concluding that this seemed like nothing so much as a sad action replay of their previous home-coming just a week ago. Once in the jeep, Blair had sent Jim an emotion-filled glance, conveying sorrow, embarrassment, apology and so much more before letting his head fall back against the seat cushions and passing out, thoroughly exhausted by the traumatic events of the past few hours. 

Leaning over to do up Blair’s seatbelt, Jim had scanned the young man thoroughly and was relieved to find that apart from a few minor scrapes and bruises from their constrained wrestling bout, Blair seemed to be otherwise unharmed. On the other hand, his mental condition was obviously of great concern, and Jim knew he had to get the Guide back into his territory as soon as possible if he was to help Blair get through this latest set-back. 

Carefully laying his burden down on the sofa, Jim locked the door and went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water from the refrigerator and a warm, damp facecloth from the bathroom with which to bath Blair’s forehead. Tucking the chilled body warmly in an afghan, Jim began to wipe Blair’s pale face, murmuring nonsense words in an attempt to waken him. 

Eventually, Jim’s ministrations began to take effect, and Blair began to rouse, head moving from side to side as he muttered distractedly. “No, noooo! Sorry, sorry! So sorry, Leroy! Didn’t mean to let you down....Don’t die...Please don’t die...” 

Soon after, he surfaced properly, gazing up into Jim’s concerned face, his own burning with shame and self-disgust. “Oh, Jim,” he whispered, tears threatening once again to spill down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry. For everything. You must be so mad at me. I embarrassed myself and shamed you in front of everyone. I didn’t mean to, I swear!” and his face crumpled in abject humiliation. 

“No, baby! Don’t go there!” Jim responded firmly. “You did nothing wrong, and you can’t be blamed for your reactions under the circumstances. You were perfectly entitled to be there, and it wasn’t as if you were trying to impose on Montgomery’s family’s grief. I’m just so sorry that they responded the way they did, and I’m pretty sure a lot of that was down to the Lewis woman’s incitement. Whatever she really thought about Leroy, she’s out to make the most of his death. A greedy, money-grubbing bitch in my humble opinion, so don’t waste your time worrying about her. Hell, babe, you’re the empath! You should know that the likes of her will always survive and make the best out of the situation. She’s too tough and self-serving not to. So cut yourself some slack, babe. By all means feel sorry for Leroy’s family, but don’t be guilted into feeling something that isn’t down to you. You did your best, Chief, and if Leroy couldn’t see it, then ultimately that was his problem, and he paid for his self-imposed blindness.” 

“I want to believe you, Jim. I really do,” Blair replied softly as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. “You’ve been so good to me, and all I seem to do is show you up in front of your friends and colleagues or provoke open hostility. I never used to be such a wimp. I had to be tough to survive starting at Rainier at sixteen. Or at least act like I was tough. Once Naomi left me there, it wouldn’t have done me any good to go into melt-down like I do now. But now everything seems to get away from me, out of my control. If it wasn’t for your shielding me, Jim, I’d be back in the hospice, drugged up and barely lucid. I can’t go on like this, man. It’s driving me to despair...” and the soft voice tailed off into silence as the young man hung his head, unable to meet Jim’s gaze any longer, his tentative hope for happiness utterly crushed by the day’s events. 

Shaken to the core by Blair’s rapid slide into depression, Jim realised it was up to him to do something, and quickly, to ease the Guide’s very real mental pain. Kneeling in front of the younger man, he carefully took Blair’s face between his palms, and raised it up so that he could study the hurt and sorrowful expression etched deeply upon it. 

“Listen to me, babe, and hear me, OK? I promised myself – and you – that I wouldn’t ever pressure you about bonding, but I want you to understand that what I’m about to propose is what I believe is the best, if not the only way forward for both of us now. Can you do that for me? Can you listen?” He gazed steadily into Blair’s mournful blue depths, concentrating on trying to impress Blair with his utter conviction and determination, and projecting nothing but love and care as he caressed the delicate skin beneath Blair’s eyes with gentle thumbs. At Blair’s tiny nod of agreement, he took a deep breath and began to speak, knowing that the outcome of his proposition would change their lives forever, for better or for worse, depending on whichever way it went. 

“OK, babe, here goes. First of all, this isn’t the real you. Not even when you came online as a Guide. I’m sure of it, Blair. You said yourself you wish you’d known what to expect, that you’d received some training as a latent Guide. Well, I might not have wanted to bond, but I’ve lived with my Sentinel abilities all my life, kiddo, and there’s not an awful lot I don’t know about the effects of bonding, at least theoretically. 

“For a Guide, bonding is always traumatic in that your barriers are gone for good, but if it’s to the right Sentinel, it should be a matter for joy and fulfilment, not despair. The fact that you never got onto the database meant you never had the chance to meet socially with potential partners before the Barnes bitch got hold of you, and after that you were in no shape to recover anytime soon, either physically or mentally. I know your therapists will have explained this to you, and you’re aware of this already in theory, Chief, but you’ve never had the chance to heal fully from your first bond, or the breaking of it. And we’ve already discussed how your second bond was flawed from the outset, through no fault of yours, baby!” He paused for a moment to hold Blair’s wide-eyed and anxious gaze, again keeping his own expression calm but determined. “With me so far?” 

And after the slightest hesitation, Blair nodded again. 

Encouraged, Jim recommenced his argument, invoking his best powers of persuasion. He’d never considered himself good with words, so this wasn’t coming easily to him, but it had to be done, and it had to succeed for both their sakes. Taking a deep breath, he ploughed on with dogged determination. 

“OK then, kiddo. Now, I know you consider yourself as weak, but that is most definitely not the case! I know of no other case as disastrous as yours – nothing even approaching the same level of trauma – and the lesser ones I have heard about left the Guides so damaged that they were on permanent suicide watch for the rest of their unhappy lives. The fact that you survived not one, but two awful mismatches, and are still functioning shows just how strong you actually are, Blair. But you desperately need help, real care and protection, not just superficial shielding, and I can give it to you. And believe me when I say it’s not an act of charity, baby. It’s an act of love. Of love, need and want on my own behalf as well as on yours. 

“Let me heal you, Blair. Trust me one last time, and bond with me. Please.” 

For long minutes Blair remained silent, deep in thought, and more scared than he had ever been even after Alex had grabbed him. Because this time it was on Jim’s behalf as much as on his own. He had been truly shocked by his own instant and positive response to Jim’s plea, amazed to discover that he wanted nothing more than to try one last time for real and lasting happiness. But he was so uncertain of his own worth; so worried that Jim would live to regret his offer, or, worse still, become yet another victim of his instinctive desire to secure Blair’s guiding ability. But even as he wavered, Jim seemed to know what he was thinking, and pushed again. 

“Come on, baby! You’re nearly there, I can tell! Trust me, Blair. Take that leap of faith.” 

So Blair did.  


\-----------------------  


**The loft bedroom, later that evening:**  


Although drooping with exhaustion, Blair lay relaxed, sated and draped half on top of his sleeping Sentinel. His Sentinel. His own _true_ Sentinel. Goddess! It was a mind-boggling concept, but so amazing; so transcendental he found it almost impossible to contain the joyful laughter threatening to bubble up and escape. However, he controlled himself with a small smile, peering up at Jim’s handsome face, so beautiful in repose, and feeling an almost overwhelming possessiveness to match that of Jim’s for him. Because he knew that for sure now. He knew everything he needed to know about the wonderful man who had saved him, who now owned him body and soul even as he owned Jim. And loved him as he was loved. 

Letting his heavy head rest against Jim’s smooth, broad chest, his smile widened slightly at the bigger man’s instinctive tightening of his embrace, revelling in the feel of the powerful arms wrapped protectively around him and knowing that Jim would never willingly let him go. 

Eyes sliding closed in sleepy contentment; Blair replayed the stages of their bonding, from anxious beginnings – on his part, at least – through mutual exploration and discovery, through to the white heat of their merge, joining them together as one for life. 

Once Blair had given his nervous consent, Jim had lifted him to his feet, and guided him upstairs; his arm wrapped supportively around Blair’s shaking shoulders all the way. Gently removing Blair’s clothing, Jim had laid him in the centre of their big bed, his eyes hot with desire now as he stripped off his own clothes, but to Blair’s amazement, he had felt no fear. No worry that this powerful man was about to fully imprint him, and this time, take him sexually to create a true bond; the symbiosis that was an Alpha Sentinel and Guide team. 

As Jim had touched, sniffed, tasted, listened to, and gazed upon Blair, Blair had found his self-doubt melting away under the intimate scrutiny, to be replaced by burgeoning desire and need. The desire for Jim to take him as soon as possible, and the need to reciprocate by showing Jim all the love of which he was capable. 

By the time Jim had imprinted him completely, and had carefully and lovingly prepared him, Blair had been almost beside himself in want and lust, and had welcomed their joining with a cry of pure ecstasy. And as their minds had opened to each other, Blair had literally felt his mental wounds heal and strengthen, bolstered by his Sentinel’s power and conviction, and feeling so much more protected than by any shielding he had experienced thus far. 

And better still was the fact that he knew Jim was benefitting equally as his senses became sharper and stronger than ever before, honed by Blair’s guidance, grounding and empathic support, such that Jim now knew he would be able finally to use his gifts to their fullest extent. 

And lastly, but by no means least of all, Blair finally believed that he was worthy of his own gifts, and worthy of being granted the chance to bond at last with the Sentinel of his dreams, and on that comforting thought, he fell deeply asleep.  


\----------------------------  


**Epilogue: Third Time Lucky:**  


**Three months later, MCU Bullpen:**  


Jim reread what he had just written, and grimaced sourly. It was true, and Blair was right. He officially sucked at writing reports. Snorting in self-deprecation, he grinned wryly as he imagined his Guide working alongside him, agile brain transforming the simple statements into works of art at least as far as Simon and the clerical staff were concerned. And Jim loved him for it. And for a whole lot more than that. His grin widened to one of pleasure when he heard his Guide’s voice, and tracked Blair’s progress as he entered the building and travelled up to the MCU bullpen, chatting cheerfully to the doughnut girl as they exited the elevator. 

Jim sat back, his whole body relaxing as he savoured Blair’s delectable scent and happily anticipated the younger man’s arrival. He looked over towards Megan’s desk, and cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at her cheeky grin, unsurprised when she responded cheerfully. “Hey, Jimbo! Anyone would think that Sandy was on his way. You look like you’ve been told you’ve won the lottery!” 

“That obvious, huh?” chuckled Jim, more open and relaxed now amongst his friends and colleagues than he could ever recall. “Anyone would think you were jealous, Connor.” 

He laughed out loud as she snipped back, “Moi? Jealous? Of _course_ I’m jealous, mate! And who wouldn’t be. And here he is!” and she grinned widely at the young man in question, who had just bounced into the bullpen, preceded by the happily smiling doughnut girl and her trolley. 

In truth, Blair was a sight to behold, and Jim smiled fondly as he made his way over to Jim’s desk, stopping for a word or two of welcome from several people on his way. Automatically scanning his Guide as he approached, the Sentinel catalogued his every physical response, and every nuance of scent and emotion, and guessed correctly that Blair had something important to tell him. It was so easy for Jim now to use his senses in such a way, and it was purely down to the complex bundle of joy who was now such an integral part of his life. 

And he really couldn’t care less if he was getting sappy in his old age. Blair was worth every effort Jim had made over the past weeks to heal and cherish his new Guide, and he knew without a doubt that Blair loved him just as deeply as he did Blair. 

Finally extricating himself cheerfully from Megan’s enthusiastic hug, Blair plopped down next to Jim and smiled up at his Sentinel, his eyes full of love and devotion. 

“Hey, Jim, are those for me?” he snickered, indicating the pile of reports. “Oh joy! What fun!” and he positively chortled with glee as he ducked the gentle whap Jim aimed at his curly head. 

“Well, I knew you’d want something to do this afternoon after your boring day so far, so I kept them just for you,” replied Jim with a laugh. 

“You’re too kind, O Sentinel mine! What would I do without your thoughtfulness?” snarked Blair, then his expression softened to one of pure love as he murmured _sotto voce,_ “What _would_ I do? Love you, man,” and Jim had to swallow hard around the lump that rose in his throat at Blair’s soul-deep intensity. 

His own eyes conveyed the depths of his own love, and knowing that Blair was fully cognisant of his emotional response, Jim resorted to playfulness to defuse the moment, since the bullpen was neither the time nor place for more than superficial reconnecting. Although he fully intended to make the most of Blair’s willing reciprocity once they got home. 

“Are you going to tell me you’ve have a more exciting morning than me, Junior? This I’ve got to hear!” He grinned encouragingly, knowing that Blair was bursting to divulge his information. 

“Oh, yeah, Jim! It was great, really! I’ve got the go-ahead to start the new course in Guide Psychology at Rainier, beginning this Fall. Eli was so supportive, Jim. He admitted he was disappointed that I wouldn’t be doing my doctorate on Sentinels after all, but he understood why I wanted to pursue a different course of study. He knew what had happened to me, and he sympathised with my need to help others like me. The unlucky ones who don’t have a Jim to come riding to the rescue,” and he squeezed Jim’s knee warmly. 

“That’s great, Junior! I knew they wouldn’t turn you down, and if the renowned Dr Eli Stoddard has given you his seal of approval, then how can I do anything less? I’m really happy for you, Chief.” 

Knowing that Jim’s response was completely genuine, Blair’s smile widened until he was positively glowing. “Thanks, man. I know you said you wanted me to get my academic life back, and I’m so grateful for that, but this way I feel as if it’s an extension of our partnership, not a detraction from it. I can help bereaved or injured Guides and eventually do some counselling at the Guide Hospice on a part-time basis, and as soon as I’m passed as fit again, I can work with you here whenever you need me. I feel so...so _energised!_ So filled with hope and ambition again! And I couldn’t have done it without you.” 

“It’s no more than you deserved, Blair. But I think Simon’s about to call us,” and they exchanged a grin as their Captain’s voice rang out, “Ellison, Sandburg, my office!”  


\------------------------  


Despite his customary bellowed command, Simon was smiling as the two men entered, with Jim’s hand in its usual place, resting possessively in the small of Sandburg’s back. Blair’s gentle answering smile gladdened the captain’s heart, as did Jim’s friendly grin. 

“Sit down, you two. Coffee? This is the weirdest yet,” he chuckled; referring to the most recent of the exotic blends his cousin had sent him for use in his personal coffee machine. “But you know, it _still tastes like Maxwell House to me!”_ and he had to laugh as two other voices chimed in with him. 

“OK, I get it. I say it every time. But that doesn’t make it untrue!” he growled with a fearsome mock scowl which just a few months ago would have sent Blair into a tailspin. Now, however, the young man just grinned cheerfully, relaxed and happy to be there. In Simon’s opinion, this was the real Blair Sandburg, resurfacing thanks primarily to his bonding with Jim, and backed up by the love and support of some very good friends, in which group Simon was proud to include himself. 

Once all three men were settled and sipping appreciatively at the fragrant coffee, Simon began to explain the reason for their meeting. Opening a file on the desk in front of him, he said, “This is the report of your most recent physical and psychological evaluation, Blair, and I’m pleased to tell you that both Director Bradshaw and the Head of the PD’s Sentinel and Guide Department have both signed you off as fit to return to full active duty. That means you’re reinstated as a fully paid-up member of MCU, with all the relevant official benefits as befits a civilian consultant and working Guide, commencing immediately. Congratulations, Blair! And welcome back to the team.” He sat back and grinned at the young man’s reaction, pleased at the effect his words had inspired. 

Face beaming in delight, and eyed sparkling with joy and excitement, Blair looked from Simon to Jim and back again as he said, “Oh man! Thank you, Captain! That’s wonderful news! I know the Director told me he was pleased with my progress, but I still expected to be grounded for a few more weeks. Now I can start being of some real use to Jim when he’s out in the field! Oh man...!” and for a moment he was lost for words, almost overwhelmed by his emotions. 

For his part, Jim was almost as thrilled as his Guide at the news. Although not restricted to desk duty during Blair’s recuperation, he had strictly limited his use of his senses while working so as not to risk zoning without Blair’s grounding touch, and now he was really looking forward to being able to use his capabilities to the max. Yes, he was concerned that their job could put Blair in peril, but he had sworn to protect the younger man with his life if needs be, and Blair had insisted that as long as he was with Jim, he could deal with the danger. 

Grasping Blair’s hand, he pulled the smaller man over for a one-armed hug as he grinned at his boss. “That’s fantastic news, Simon! I knew he was coming along nicely, but seeing as the S and G shrinks are so painfully conscientious – or power-conscious, however you prefer to view it – I thought it would be at least another month before they gave him a clean bill of health,” and he ruffled Blair’s curls playfully until his captive squeaked in unconvincing irritation. 

Smiling widely himself at his friends’ antics, Simon said, “Well, seeing as it’s a special occasion, why don’t you two take off early? You’ll probably have things to do to prepare Blair for his first full day back. But don’t think this’ll happen again anytime soon!” he added with mock severity. “I can’t have my rep as a slave-driver undermined by false rumours about my generosity! Go on, get out of here!” And chuckling good-naturedly, he shooed his grinning and grateful team out of his office.  


\----------------------  


Back at Jim’s desk, Blair helped tidy everything away in preparation for leaving. When Jim told Megan the news about Blair’s reinstatement, she rushed over and hugged the stuffing out of him, promising to spread the word among their other colleagues when they returned from their various out-of-office tasks. 

“Bloody hell, Sandy! That’s great news, love! It’ll be wonderful to see more of you, and Jim won’t have any excuse to be grumpy!” 

“Hey, I resemble that remark!” Jim responded with a wry chuckle. “I’ve been nothing but sweetness and light for months now, Connor!” 

“Yeah, mate, actually, you have,” Megan allowed, relaxing her embrace enough for Blair to breathe again. “And it’s all because of you, Sandy, my love,” and she planted a big smacker of a kiss on the blushing Guide’s cheek. “And the others’ll be just as chuffed when I tell them. So, are you going to celebrate?” and she waggled her eyebrows suggestively at them. 

“Oh, I dare say we’ll think of something,” Jim answered blithely, then did a double-take as Blair paled dramatically, his scent suddenly soured by the tang of fear. 

“Oh Jim, I’m sorry!” Blair whispered. “I forgot to tell you that I asked Sarah and Gerry around for dinner tonight. I’m sorry! I can cancel if you want...?” and he looked imploringly up at Jim’s perplexed frown. 

As Megan looked on in consternation, Jim placed both hands on Blair’s shoulders and said quietly but firmly, “Blair! There’s something wrong with this picture, and it’s nothing to do with Sarah and Gerry. Look at me, babe, come on now,” he commanded as Blair tried to turn his face away. 

Blair blushed again, but this time in pure embarrassment. “Oh man, I did it again, didn’t I?” he muttered. “Simon just tells me I’m OK to come back to work, and I have a flashback! For a moment I was thinking of how Leroy would have reacted. I’m so sorry, Jim,” and he hung his head in shame. 

“And that’s quite enough of that!” replied Jim smartly, tilting Blair’s head back up to meet his kind and understanding gaze. “First off, you _are_ fit enough to come back to work, but you shouldn’t be surprised if you have the occasional relapse. After all you’ve been through, it’s a given. Thing is, we’re both aware of the possibility, so we can deal with them together. Always together, babe. You’ll never be alone again as long as I live. 

“So, cheer up, kiddo, and let’s go and enjoy a few hours’ freedom. And it’ll be good to have Sarah and Gerry round. They’re a lot of fun, and any friends of yours are friends of mine. What culinary delight are you planning on cooking for us…?” 

Gathering up his relieved and smiling partner, Jim steered him out of the bullpen and down the corridor to the elevators, the pair of them chatting and bickering happily in perfect sync once again. 

Watching their departing backs, Megan smiled to herself before turning her attention back to the file on her desk. Yes, it was hardly surprising that Sandy should have the occasional anxiety attack after all the hurt and pain he had suffered, but she knew that Jim would always be there for him now, and for that she was heartily grateful. They truly deserved one another, even if their path to happiness and fulfilment had been less than smooth. 

Third time lucky, indeed.  


**The End.**


End file.
